The LSAT, Moving, and Applying to Law School

Before taking the LSAT, I wrote a post about how stressed I was. And I was really stressed. I wrote about the weight of each and every test question, and how my overall score would be impacted by the questions on which I guessed. I whined and worried. I tried to joke about it, but I really was losing my mind.

In real life (not the interwebs), people would ask me how I was feeling and if I was ready, and I would tell them I was stressed, and they would basically try to persuade me that I shouldn’t be stressed, which made me more stressed. Also, I think there’s something to be said for each person having a process of preparation, and mine happens to involve stress… so it’s possible that my stress helped prepare me and helped improve my score, so eff all of the people who kept trying to talk me out of stressing.

Result of my stress: I actually ended up scoring higher on the LSAT than I had ever scored on any of my practice tests. Basically, my score was good enough that I should have no trouble getting in to any law school that is not Ivy League. Also, it means that I should receive some scholarship money.


You’d think I’d feel pretty awesome, but I’m actually stressed again.

I am now having all of my info sent to a credential assembly service, which is stressful to me. I am also taking more steps towards selling my house. I am also trying to figure out where I actually want to apply, which impacts when I should sell my house…

All of this is frustrating and, well, stressful to me…

Not having the internet at home or a printer at Starbucks, I end up having about 42 extra steps for each piece of paper I need someone to send to the credential assembly service, because I’ll go to Sbucks to use the internet, only to realize that I have to print something, which requires that I also go to the library. I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it bothers me. It bothers me that I have to ask a ton of people to send a ton of things somewhere for me, and then I have to wait for them to do it. It bother me that I’m not sure how to make decisions about where to apply. Pretty much every step of this process bothers me.

For undergrad, I only applied to U of A, because I knew that’s where I would go. I knew I’d be accepted. I knew I didn’t want to go anywhere else, and I didn’t feel the need to have backups.

Now that I’m all growed up, I feel I should follow the advice of the experts, who think I should apply to something like 25 schools. Now, realistically, I’m definitely not doing that. I might apply to 8 schools, but it seems like a big, stupid waste of time and stress, because I really don’t intend to move. Applying to Boston College might satisfy some part of me that thinks it would be an adventure to move to Boston, but if I received a full-ride from both Boston College and U of A (which isn’t going to happen, but I’m just saying…), then I would stay in Arizona. Still, I feel obligated to think about all of the places I’m applying, just in case it might be a good idea to move, even though I really don’t want to move.

So, for your perusal, here’s the list of places I may apply… or I may only apply to the U of A again. We’ll see.

U of A


University North Carolina Charlotte

Wake Forest


Boston College


University of Oregon (or perhaps it’s Oregon State? I can never remember … the one in Eugene)


I expect I’ll be accepted to all of those except Duke. How do I even consider so many different possibilities? How do I even think about moving to another state, where I would live without Steve and Lori, my church, Victim Services, and basic knowledge of the city? How do I even think about living in the snow? There’s nothing worse than snow. I’m completely open to going somewhere for a few years, if it’s definitely temporary, but everything I’ve read says I should go to law school in the place where I intend to practice law. Moving to Boston for three years would be cool, but for the rest of my life possibly? I don’t know about that. There’s too much pressure on this one decision.

I know… 1st world problems, eh?



Jobless and Searching

It’s officially my second day after my resignation went into effect… well, I still get paid through July, so it’s not exactly the stressful part of unemployment just yet.

The last day at work was nice and infuriating and sentimental and false. People I hardly knew made it seem like they were oh-so-very sad I was leaving. Additionally, my last day was also the last day of something like a fourth or fifth of our staff, because our site is bleeding teachers. Additionally, the teachers who are leaving are almost all also leaving education. Also, none of us have any idea what we intend to do. Basically, everyone cried at our staff meeting except for me and a few others. There were hugs and gifts.

After the meeting, there was a lunch, with further sentimentality.

After the lunch, there was happy hour that featured everyone bearing their deepest, darkest secrets, including who has slept with whom, and who has wanted to sleep together, but hadn’t the courage to do it… I almost fled, via trip to the bathroom with no return. Then I decided it wouldn’t mean all that much to me to endure an hour or so more and make a proper exit, but it would mean a lot to other people. So I went back and tolerated juvenile truth games with invasive and leading questions that lacked class. However, there were a few bright spots, specifically one with one of my fellow English teachers who I’ve hardly spoken with in the seven years I’ve known her. But I did teach her stepson, and she said nice things about me.

I spent a lot of time that day and last week thinking about the last time I was jobless… that was when the district had a Reduction in Force, then made me interview for my own position just to get it back. I got it back, but it was a similar experience for me in that I felt some Divine leading, sending me to Mongolia w/o any money in my account or any guarantee of a job when I needed it… and yet, I went. This feels a lot like that. God took care of me before, so I’m gonna bet He’s got this one as well.

One of the thoughts I clung to desperately then was that $ is not an obstacle for the Almighty. He isn’t worried about paying ____________ bill.

After the last day festivities, I went home, did Bible study, then got up the next morning for testing with GEICO.

I’m not gonna lie – my snobbery was in full-gear when it came to the thought of working such a menial, corporate, etc… sort of job. I’m a teacher. Come on, I’m all about the relationships, right?

Well, when I arrived at the site, which is on the opposite end of Tucson from me, I fully intended for them to see how awesome I am, offer me the job, and then I was going to turn them down to work at Starbucks. I have an interview at Sbucks tomorrow, and it seems more like I want to be doing with my life.

Except that the staff at GEICO actually seem to like their jobs.

And there’s a fitness center.

And, the kicker: they seemed really into providing their employees with everything they need to do their jobs well. Do you have any idea what it’s like trying to get what you need in the classroom? In fact, do you have any idea what it’s like to get the things the district is required to give your classroom? It’s shockingly difficult to be a teacher. They (no, I don’t know who “they” are exactly… faceless people who make decisions that affect nearly every person in the nation…) “They” actually spend more time taking things away from the classroom nowadays than in giving us things. And when they do give us things, they take other things away… new text books? Well, of course every child doesn’t need one… we’ll put them online. And we’ll expect parents to provide computers and the internet so kids can read at home. Also, we’ll take away the old text books, so that you can’t use those. Also, we’ll do this 3 days before the school year begins and expect teachers to plan an entire curriculum from a book they haven’t even seen, while setting up their classrooms, meeting students, attending mandatory meetings, etc…

But GEICO? I think they believe their staff does better work when they have what they need. I think they even believe it’s the company’s responsibility to provide what the staff needs.

Blew my mind how easy things felt.

Then, after I’d filled out paperwork and was waiting for the test to begin, I noticed there was this little book with the history of GEICO in it, so I started reading. And it was this great story (poorly-written, mind you) about the founder and how he went from making a decision that everyone thought was terrible to a successful company… Also, it’s called the Government Employee Insurance Company. Did you know that? The founder has his foundation in USAA.

And I took the test, and I owned it.

It was typing, which I’m spectacularly good at, and it was multi-tasking… and who better to multi-task than a teacher?

So I passed, and I actually started thinking I should work at GEICO. It’d be a pay increase and it would be stable. And I might like it.

I have an interview with them on Tuesday, now, so the timing is coming together well. I’ll get to interview with Sbucks and find out what they have to offer, then I can make an informed decision about GEICO… then it’s off on a 3-week road trip on a budget… camping, hostels, etc… Who knew quitting your job could be so relaxing?

The Appeal of Self-Martyrdom

Have you ever known a self-martyr?

I was writing in my journal a few minutes ago, and I ended the entry with this: “Abba, I think sometimes we martyr ourselves to prove that we love You.”

Do you think that’s true?

Do you ever choose the more difficult path because it’s more difficult? All things being equal, I’m not likely to choose the difficult path because I believe it’s more beautiful.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I… I took the one less-traveled by and that has made all the difference.”

Robert Frost was a wise man whose poetry touches my heart, but I wonder if this favorite poem of mine leads me to see beauty in struggle for the sake of struggle. The two roads being equal in all other ways, Frost’s speaker advises us to take the more difficult path.

As I look at my life right now, two roads diverge in a wood… but I’m contemplating the beauty of the one most frequently traveled. It isn’t less beautiful for being more widely traveled. It isn’t less glorious for being more widely traveled; it’s just a road I won’t have to bush-whack to traverse. It’s a road lined with traveling companions and rest stops along the way.

So… why am I such a snob as to envy the other road?

Why do I believe I’m worth more if I take the hard path?

Why is self-martyrdom so appealing?