I am so happy to be halfway finished with law school.
So happy. So incredibly happy.
I had a rough ending to the semester. Around Thanksgiving, the dry heaving started again. Being that I hate the holidays and was getting ready for final exams, I sort of dove into the anxiety for a bit. Lost a little weight, which is pretty much the only positive I experience during final exams.
I managed to get the dry heaving and panic attacks under control just before Stuart and I broke up.
It was like a week and a half before finals, which was just spectacular timing. I spent a super-productive week having panic attacks and crying a lot. I’m sure my grades this semester will be super. My favorite part of the breakup was the morning after, when I ended up walking and crying in the rain. Two miles to my thereapist’s office, where I continued to cry, then two miles home again, crying in the rain. When I got home, I saw that Moose had pooped in the floor – I didn’t even have the heart to scold him.
Having never really done the relationship thing before (or the breakup thing), I really had no clue how much I was going to be just like a sit-com. Not only did I cry a lot and have panic attacks, but I called my mom like every-other-day, laid on the floor a lot, and ate nothing but ramen. I watched two full seasons of Survivor in a matter of days, and convinced myself that God was talking to me through one of the characters/players. I walked an average of something like 6 miles each day and read a lot of sad novels when I should have been studying. I even managed to have a real cute text fight with Stuart, although I’m pretty sure he deserved it. 🙂
I’m now in the fun stage of the breakup where I oscillate between denial and acceptance. One moment, I feel pretty sure that Stuart is going to figure out we were meant to be together and show up in my yard holding a boom box over his head. The next moment, I’m back on Match, imagining how perfect my life would be with this or that person who is messaging me.
Now that the semester is over, I’m doing a bit better. Struggling with how to know whether I’m ready to move on or not. Don’t want to rebound date, but, you know, I want to meet someone and live life together.
I have a hot date planned for Christmas night… Winterhaven. It’s maybe not the most conventional date for a first date, but he seems like a good guy. We’ll see.
Other things going on include final deadline for my substantial paper is coming up. 10 pages to write. Job searching for the summer. Need to figure out if I would be okay leaving Tucson, because the opportunities are definitely better in Phoenix… but I kind of love Tucson.
Hope all is well with everyone else.
Drop me a line if you feel like grabbing coffee. I’ve got time for the next few weeks and would love to see folks.