I got into a minor car accident last night. I was in the Walmart parking lot, contemplating the changes to my personality that may prevent me from every shopping at Walmart ever again in my whole life. I’m beginning to hate that place.
I was in the lane to exit the parking lot and turn right onto a relatively busy road. There was a j-wad blocking our vision because he intended to make a left across three lanes of traffic and he was pulled way farther forward than was necessary.
The car in front of me hit their gas, so I let off on the break and tried to see around the j-wad blocking my view, and I coasted forward, right into the car in front of me’s bumper. Evidently, they gave it gas, and then hit the brake.
We got out, and I apologized. We all checked our bumpers and, seeing as I didn’t even leave any paint on theirs, we told each other to have a good evening, and we drove away.
I would like to thank God that I’ve never had to submit a car insurance claim. I’ve got no tickets or accidents on my record… hallelujah!
The incident caused me to hate Walmart even more than I already hated it… all I really wanted was a few light bulbs, a space heater, and some garbanzo beans. I usually shop at Trader Joe’s, but sometimes you actually need to purchase something from a stupid place that has 42 options for which type of pen you want.
Oh well, nobody got hurt, I found everything I needed and wanted, and all is well.
As a side story, there is a new guy attending my church, and I had one of those moments that made me want to punch Christian culture in the crotch.
I have been running the coffee bar at my church, which is nice because I get to meet people without having to initiate anything. However, I had not met the new guy, because he hasn’t been drinking the coffee. Being that he’s the only new person of many who I hadn’t yet met, I made sure to join a conversation he was in and introduce myself.
When I did that, the other person in the conversation made an excuse to go do something else…
In all fairness, this is obviously not something isolated to Christian culture, but really?
I totally wasn’t trying to flirt with him. I felt like I’d shirked my responsibility by not introducing myself prior to that day.
So, we talked a little, and he turned out to be applying for residency at Banner Medical in Neurology. While that’s cool, and I can see why people think that makes him appealing, I’m really hoping no one thinks what I know they’re thinking… that, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
Or something like that… that quote is the opening line of Pride and Prejudice, and it’s meant as sarcastic and humorous. If anyone tries to talk to me about the prospects of me dating and marrying this guy, there’s a distinct chance that I’ll say something rude and offensive.