The Default Settings

I’m one of those people who never changes the default settings that come on my phone, computer, car, wristwatch… anything (with the exception of privacy settings, which I always change). I think that personality quirk is the reason I feel more unsettled than I think I should feel lately. Everything continues to change, which could be a blessing if I could get past the angst of it.

Default #1 The Job

Believe it or not, the actual changing of jobs isn’t particularly stressful for me. I’m not worried about the new job… I’m worried that I haven’t yet found the right job; it feels like it’s taking forever, but I’m enthusiastic about starting, and I’m not worried because I’m an excellent employee.

However, the income and expenses defaults are inherently linked to the job default, and those indirect changes are stressing me out. For the first time in my life, I’ve had to consider getting more than one job to make ends meet. Also, I have not been buying wine. Or Starbucks.

Because I don’t like having internet access, cable, Netflix, or much in the way of entertainment at home, I’ve never had to worry about my Starbucks budget. I’ve also always bought the books I want, Panda Express and Eegee’s, lotion… it’s funny the things that I now see as luxuries that I used to see as necessities.

Default #2 The Friends

There are really two things that happened – both outside of my control – that significantly changed the friend landscape. The Hilsts moved and the Monday Night Dinner Crowd revealed their true thoughts and feelings.

It used to be that I saw the Hilsts at least once a week, if not way more than that. Therefore, it’s been a weird realization for me that I can no longer text Ashly and expect that she’ll let me come over or that she’ll come to my place. They were my friends who made themselves most accessible to me, and I feel the loss of that nearly every day – when I want to order pizza and watch tv with someone… when I’m driving past the various places they’ve lived… when I’m getting ready to leave church, and I realize that I will not be going to Pasco’s with Ashly. 😦

It also used to be that I would attend Monday Night Dinners. Recently, my attendance dwindled, but I intended to start going again when life slowed down a bit. Then the ish hit the fan, and I had a tangible example of my fear that they didn’t actually like me all that much.

To fill the Hilst and MND voids, I’ve got two new ish group things that I’m pretty excited about right now. One of them is Dungeons and Dragons. It’s impossible to explain how much fun D & D really is and how much fun the people who play it really are. I wish we played more often.

The other newish thing I’ve taken up is secret wine tasting society. We meet once a month and do a themed wine tasting. It’s delightful. But don’t tell anyone I told you – it’s exclusive. And secret.

Default #3 Activities

So many of my activities and volunteer ish in my life centered around my job. I helped start that parent-teacher coalition and worked on their website. I campaigned for a school board member. I got elected to the leadership team of the education association. I created a dodge ball team. I sat on the NHS faculty council. I sponsored clubs. I taught extra classes. I coached softball way back when. I’ve done other things, but the vast majority of my activities have been incredibly work-centric for the past several years.

So… this is my favorite default I get to reset, because I get to start up a coffee bar at church. Sure, this is an attempt to return to a long-ago church default, but it’s still different from what I’ve been doing in recent years. Also, a week from today, I’m doing volunteer orientation for a no-kill animal shelter. And, in February, I’m going to try to get into the training for Victim’s Services.

All of that is really cool.

As a default, I’ve stopped blogging. I will hopefully get my ish together soon so Still Growing doesn’t dissolve into nothingness. Consider this update to be a place-holder until I can find a routine that incorporates writing.



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