The roadtrip, thus far, has not gone as I’d planned. I’m not complaining. It’s been great. It just isn’t what I thought it would be.
I thought I would have an adventure. I thought I’d stay in hostels and travel pretty far.
I think the first thing that knocked me back a bit was the marathon. It was fine. I got really slow when they put us on a damn hill up an effing highway at like mile 21. It was a wicked hill. And after finishing, I felt like lying around and doing nothing, which seems justified, right? Except that I still feel that way a week later. I just want to sit at Starbucks and go to movies. I could do that at home. I can talk myself into just about one thing a day… one trip to the beach, one yoga session on a pier, one trip downtown to see a novelty shop or to eat at a restaurant… but that one thing only fills one quarter of the day, and then I just want to sit. I want to drink coffee, browse Craigslist for jobs, and read. That’s it. I also don’t mind driving all day, which is a little unusual for me.
The hostel thing was fine for one night, and if I were traveling with another person, it’d probably be fine for the entire trip, but there is so much meeting new people and coping with new situations that I don’t think it’s for me.
I’m adventurous. But I don’t think I’m social adventurous. I’m more throw-my-body-into-ridiculous-situations.
It bothered me that I was hit on the first morning of the trip. I know that sounds like a spoiled thing to complain about, but I hated it. I like being complimented by men, but I hate that feeling that a man is trying to talk me into bed. It contributes to a feeling of insecurity… in the safety sense of the word. It makes me feel less confident heading back to a room full of people I don’t know.
Then there’s my guttural response to big cities. I don’t enjoy the uber concentration of people. I’m hating the air. I’m hating the traffic.
I also hate being in a different place every few days… I hate the complete unfamiliarity with my surroundings, and being in a big city limits how much exploring I can do on foot, which is my preference… I know that sounds like a lie, but there is so little nearby that’s not expensive or touristy. I have to drive if I want an ordinary day, which is usually what I want.
So… I stopped driving. I stayed in Venice for longer than I intended to stay, which was an excellent choice. I got to spend time with the Hilsts. I got as comfortable with effing LA as it’s possible to get in a few days. I stayed in Pasadena and drove back and forth to visit the Hilsts (Padadena hotels cost like a fourth of what Venice hotels cost). I went hiking with my friend Josh. And I got to go to church. All great things.
And then, I decided not to go further North. So now I’m staying in Oceanside. It’s less of a city. It’s cheaper than anywhere I’ve stayed thus far, and it’s close to Encinitas, which is a town I stopped in to get coffee on the drive up, and I fell in love with it immediately. So maybe I can relax for a week and then make decisions. I may honestly go stay in Flagstaff or Phoenix for a week, then go home.
That feels pretty lame, but it’s what appeals at the moment.