So, this weird thing has been happening at work: people are watching me, and it’s weird.
For seven years, I’ve worked at the same place and managed to be as universally liked, but unknown as it’s possible to be. I’ve been the pleasant one, who doesn’t complain, and never says anything of consequence. Parents don’t complain about me. Students don’t really complain about me. In effect, I’ve been a silent and reliable cog in the machine.
For the past year, however, I’ve been a little pissed off. I’ve been attending PTO meetings, board meetings, association meetings… I honestly say nothing at any of those events, but have been more like on a mission of information-gathering. Then, I decided that I’d run for our local association’s secretary position. Basically, the association VP and I are friends, and I asked him one day what my first step should be if I want to start changing this situation in which I work and try to change the world. He told me to run. So I did.
Honestly, I kept expecting someone to come out of the framework and beat me… but, evidently, no one wants the task of attending meetings, taking notes, and communicating to members via social networking. So there was no election. I ran completely unopposed even though I’d really only attended a handful of association events, only said anything at one of them, and managed to piss off the association president with that one thing I said.
And the news that I’d won started slowly trickling out. People congratulated me… but then it started to be different and weird.
At our school’s most recent training, I noticed that administrators and one or two of the AP teachers in other departments had their eyes on me. Usually, I’m that person who the admin team might email and be like, “We didn’t see you at _________ mandatory thing. Where were you.” And I have the embarrassing task of telling them I that I actually sat next to them in that thing. Now, however, they were watching me that way you watch a crazy person who might just take off their clothes and run around shouting nonsense words. It was that silly, I’m-not-looking-at-you thing, except they totally were looking out of the corners of their eyes.
Now, let’s be honest, I don’t have any clue what I’m doing.
I know that I want to change the way we educate kids. I believe we’re killing humanity with data, measurements, testing, etc… and that we’re trying to make kids into automatons. I want to change that, but I also know this system is enormous. The levels of change that would have to occur to get me what I want range from the way individual teachers relate to students, past site administrators, district administrators, state boards of education, and finally, to the U.S. Department of Ed. and the President’s beliefs about what’s right for kids.
I don’t actually think I’m going to change anything. I think I’m going to try for a few years, and, then I’m going to move to the boonies of Asia or South America. I think the system is going to destroy my spirit, and I’m going to give up so as to retain and rebuild my heart.
Still, it’s highly entertaining right now to know that I’m a wild card. No one can tell what I’m doing, but they’ve begun to think of me as a player. Let’s just hope they don’t see me as too much of a threat and make preemptive strikes against me, just in case I am a crazy streaker. 🙂