A Teacher’s First Night of Summer Vacation

So… it’s Friday night and you know you’ve got two months ahead of you when you won’t be enslaved to a schedule and normal work anxieties. What do you do?

Well, at 4:00 pm, you wake up from your first afternoon nap of the summer. You head out to the sbucks and write a blog post, because you’ve been meaning to write quite a bit more, in the hopes of returning to those days way back when you used to blog 5 or 6 days a week. Then, you plan out your trips away from the desert for the summer, sorting out airlines and whatnot. Finally, you go home. It’s 7:30, so you start making plans for tomorrow by texting everyone you know and inviting them for a night hike.

Now what?

There’s a half a bottle of wine that needs drinking, you say?

Well, alright.

You get out the cheese and the chocolate, because even though they seem like a terrible combo, they actually serve as delightful pallet cleansers for each other in between sips of Cab. Sauv. And what’s better with wine than saving the human race? A couple hours of Mass Effect later, plus that half a bottle of wine, and you’re emboldened enough to give 28 Days Later a try. Now, okay, you watched it something like ten Halloweens ago,  so it shouldn’t be that scary, but you checked it out from the library 18 weeks ago and WILL NOT be allowed to renew it again, so you just need to suck it up and finally face the fear. Now armed with a mild intoxication and several fake fire fights, you can totally do it. For at least twenty minutes, right? Roommate is home, and there’s a random boy in the kitchen, and they’re talking loudly enough that it won’t be scary. It won’t.

So, you start watching… it’s past your bedtime, but there is no summer bedtime, right?


Roommate and boy decide to go for some sort of outing, so it might be a little scarier now, but you’ve just got to make it to 20 minutes to feel like you’ve succeeded.

Okay. 20 minutes. Done!

You turn off the tv and head to your bedroom, ready for some sleep, except for the feeling that some sort of fast-moving zombie-esque man might jump through your window at any moment.

You wash your face and brush your teeth and try to pick a readable book for the late evening. You take your allergy arsenal and feed the fish.


This is what crow pose is supposed to look like. This image comes from Yogaoutlet.com


And then, it hits you – that inevitable desire to try complex yoga moves/arm balances. You get it every time you drink, no matter where you are. And this seems like the perfect time to give crow pose a try. You’re just intoxicated enough to want to do it, and frightened enough that you won’t be able to sleep anyways.

So, you get into your yogi squat, feeling pretty great. You had yoga class just yesterday and felt like you would have made it into crow if you’d only had a bit longer to try, but your instructor moved on and you didn’t quite get it. So… you plant your hands and bend your elbows… you get your right knee up pretty easily, and when you tip forward, the left knee gets a decent bit of air.

Okay. That was pretty good. Maybe you’re going to be able to do crow tonight. Maybe.

You hear roommate and boy return. Nice – they’ll protect you from the zombie dudes – you can go to bed after one more attempt at crow.

Yogi squat again. Reset hands. Right knee up. And here we go.

When practicing new yoga poses, you’ve discovered it’s important that you make a decision about how much you intend to go for it and commit exactly that much. In the past, you’ve known you weren’t going to make it into crow, so you’ve generally just tried for the barely get both feet off the ground approach, but saving the human race, watching scary movies, drinking and staying up late have given you an inflated sense of your skillz and a deflated sense of your body mass… so you decide there really isn’t a better time to go for it.

And for an entire 2 seconds, you are totally doing crow.


And without really realizing it’s happening, your weight tips forward just a scoash, and you face-plant on the floor in your bedroom. Loudly.

And then you crack up, wondering what roommate and boy are thinking about the noises coming from your room.

And then you climb into bed and fall off to sleep instantaneously. 🙂 No better way to kick off the summer.


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