Last week, a friend and colleague told me about a conversation he had with some of the fellas who work in the math department (or there may have been some scientists there as well). Basically, I was brought up as available, nice, and not a Mormon virgin. My friend responded to the group that I wouldn’t touch the man who was lookin’ for a date with a ten-foot pole… and this whole situation irked me. I don’t exactly know why this irked me (and still does), because my friend was really just telling the truth. There is no way I could ever date this particular man… and yet, I’m feeling pretty weird about it all.
First, I think maybe it bothers me that my co-workers are suddenly talking about me. It’s entirely possible that they’ve always talked about me and I just haven’t known about it, but I always fancied myself invisible at work. Of course, I’ve tried a bit harder for the past couple of years to be friendly and get to know folks, but I never thought that would lead to them thinking about me and expressing their thoughts.
It maybe also bothers me that the context I was mentioned in wasn’t entirely innocent. Okay, so there are a million filthier things the guys could have said about me, but there was still that thing where I was being contrasted with a girl they labeled as a Mormon virgin. Again, I never suspected anyone had cause to talk about me in that way.
Third, I think it bothers me that my friend was so blunt. Maybe I don’t understand because I’m not a dude, but I certainly never would have insulted anyone in that manner and I probably would have found an exit ramp out of that conversation without having to answer the question at all. Avoiding the question is preferable to hurting anyone’s feelings in my mind. I’m not mad at my friend for his response (and it actually flatters me that he believes my standards are high enough that this man could not be anything other than repulsive to me) but I’m still a bit weirded out by the whole thing.
Thoughts? You’re probably just amazed that I made it to age 29 without anything like this happening before now, right? 🙂