I’ve recently been watching what I think to myself, because I’ve caught myself thinking some pretty critical and unforgiving things that I would never think about other people, but I allow myself to think them about myself. That’s probably pretty normal, but not something I want to make a habit of.
That being said, I’m going to allow myself this one blog post here about the
fat kid hobbit (better connotation) because I’m amused by myself a little bit.
Now, okay, I know that I’m not
fat Hobbitty in the traditional sense of the word. Anyone who can run 8 miles in the stupid Tucson heat is probably not all that fat a Hobbit and probably anyone who can even walk that distance isn’t super fat Hobbitty either. However, at heart, I have always been a fat kid Hobbit
Fat kids Hobbits just have a different drive in life than most people have. Rather than getting up in the morning because there’s something they want to do that day, they get up because breakfast is calling.
So… I’ve been a little bit depressed, and nothing is going particularly well or particularly poorly – relationship with God, work, relationships with people, writing, reading, running – all things I’m sort of trudging through rather than enjoying. Now, restrain your Christian Hedonist pep-talk for just a moment, because I honestly can’t generate joy that isn’t there, and your Hedonism isn’t going to improve my mood at all. It’ll more likely just make me feel like there’s something wrong with me because you find joy in things that I currently find to be drudgery.
I’m just sort of dutifully living my life right now, trying to figure it all out, and I think it’s okay.
However, there is a bright spot at the end of the drudgery because there is one part of living that brings me great joy all the time.
That’s right – food.
When I wake up, all I can think about is the onion, mushroom, tomato, ham and sharp cheddar omelet I’m going to eat (sadly, Sam forgot to save me some nice crispy bacon to incorporate) and the caramel latte I’m going to enjoy slowly at the kitchen table.
I go to work, and I teach my first three classes with very little on my mind except making it to the next meal. For lunch, I’ve been having a delightful PB & H sandwich (honey fresh off the ranch), followed up with a tasty gala apple. It may seem like a third grader’s lunch, but I assure you it is delightful, so stop judging.
Then, I teach three more classes, grade while sponsoring Minecraft club, and prepare for the next day’s lessons. When I get home, I have an early dinner, which serves as my only meal that varies at all. Tonight, it was an enormous salad, featuring romaine, baby spinach, ham (again, because it’s my fave), garbanzo beans, peanuts, tomatoes, mushrooms, cucumbers, black olives, avocado, sharp cheddar (my other fave), and ranch. Then I had some OJ and a piece of chocolate.
Now, I’m here in bed, typing a blog post, but the only thing I’m really looking forward to in life is breakfast and a latte (oh yeah – and my bedtime Flintstones Vitamin). And I will get up tomorrow, because I want to eat. Also, I will probably go for a run tomorrow, because I want to eat more. However, rather than thinking of myself as a “fat kid”, I’m going to try thinking to myself more positively by considering my love of food to be Hobbitty. Hobbits are representative of the good things in the world that are worth saving, and if I could live the life of any mythical creature, I think I’d probably be a Hobbit, because they eat a lot of food and relax quite a bit. They also make for excellent friends who stick by you through the darkest of times.
Also, don’t be surprised if STILL GROWING becomes a bit Hobbitty for the next few weeks… 🙂