Why do you have to say such casually insightful things? Now I have to rethink my whole life!
So… I had a hot date this week with a nice fella named Ethan. Ethan is 24 and plays bass. He’s taller than I am and a little goofy, which is pretty much all you can ask for in a man. He’s got just enough extra weight on him so that I feel small standing next to him, but not so much that he couldn’t sit in a normal-sized row-boat without capsizing it. He’s got a scruffy beard thing going for him, and…unfortunately, he works at Circle K, and lives with mom and dad.
I don’t know why I agreed to go out with him.
I know I should be looking for an Engineer (because they are everywhere in Tucson) who owns a 4-bedroom house and has all of his crap together. Because I have most of my crap together – not in an I-have-nothing-to-improve-because-I’m-perfect-way, but in an I-work-hard-and-make-good-choices sort of way. I should be looking for someone who can fix stuff around the house and has a perfect hair-cut… but don’t perfect haircuts seem so unromantic? There’s just something about a guy with a guitar and wild hair that makes me smile and plan a very Bohemian, traveling future with little hipster babies in it.
This weekend, Lori pointed out my preference for the tragical artist type, and I sort of didn’t care at first, but then, I was out, walking around with Ethan because there wasn’t room for me on his motorcycle and he refused to let me drive him to a coffee shop and then have to drive him back to his bike, and it hit me: Lori is so right! Damn her! Talking to Ethan felt very much like talking to my students, because he lives with Mommy. Also, he let slip (he wanted to make sure I knew he has been independent since he was 18) that prior to moving back home, he lived with his 31-yr-old girlfriend (probably mooching off of her).
Why do I do that?
Then it hit me! I’ve been thinking about dating the same way I think about buying a car. When you’re young, you start with a modest 2-door that gets good gas mileage but can’t accommodate your hauling needs. Then, as you get older, you slowly upgrade to the absolute best of the best, matching your car to the stage of life you’re in.
Unfortunately, I think I grew up without realizing it. Also, I haven’t done a lot of dating, so I think I’ve been looking for a modest 2-door (or occasionally being all, “Who needs a car anyways?”, when I probably ought to find myself a nice SUV because that’s the stage of life I’m in.
Also, I think I needed Lori (and Ethan) to remind me of who I am. I don’t usually remember that I’m a classy girl who has most of her crap in line and makes good choices. I tend to think of myself more along the lines of Anne with an ‘e’. She can’t quite bring herself to get with Gil because she’s got to become an author who lives a very romantic sort of life before settling down.
And so begins my search for a respectable Engineer… who rocks out on the Rockband with me occasionally… and has some scraggly stubble on his face… and likes to travel.