Search Engine Optimization Fail


dreaming of your teeth falling out wtf lols

dreaming of your teeth falling out wtf lols (Photo credit: v i p e z)

As I read through the stats on this here blog, it cracks me up to see what people are searching for that brings them here. The most common search people do is “What to say at a Baptism” and that one isn’t funny at all. Still Growing is a pretty common one as well, but with all of the SEO (Search Engine Optimization) mumbo jumbo, I thought it might be fun to give you a list of my favorite search terms that lead people here to my little piece of the interwebs. 🙂

10. Plan Flit (52 people searched that one), Panflit (33), Pan-Flit (3), What is a Pan Flit (3) and Pan Flits (6)

Really, people? A Pan Flit isn’t anything. It’s PAMPHLET!!!!! Pamphlet. It’s a good thing my post comes up as the top one for this so that people can see the error of their ways.

9. Barbie Disney Mulan (2), Mulan Barbie (29), Walmart Mulan Barbie (2) or Barbie Mulan (21)

8. Holding Hands (12)

Awwwwwe!!!!! I really hope those twelve searches came from twelve teenagers who feel awkward about taking that adorable step of affection and were hoping for help. My post doesn’t even make it onto the first page of that search, but there’s a nice Wiki 10 Step thing for How to Hold Hands.

7. Teeth Falling Out (9), Fallen Out Tooth (2), Dentist Full Out the Teeth (2), Teeth Wallpaper (2), OV Teeth (2), Losing Teeth Wallpapers (2), Dreams of Teeth Falling Out (2) and Teeth Falling Out Dream (6)

I knew I wasn’t the only one who has that dream!

6. Things to Do with Instant Pudding (3)

Other than eating it???? I don’t want to know what those three people were looking for.

5. Velveteen Rabbit Bible Study (3)

Do people really do that? I guess I could see doing some sort of study with kiddos about how once you become real (called.saved) you can never become unreal again, or something like that, but The Velveteen Rabbit is SUPER sad and not super theological. I haven’t read or watched it in at least a decade, but I’m not sure this sort of study is a good idea.

4. Can You Kill Carth (3), Can You Kill Carth Onasi (2), How to Kill Carth Onasi (2) Is There Any Way to Turn Carth to the Dark Side (1) and Kill Carth (2)

It seems nine of those people hated Carth and one of them was like me… trying to keep from having to kill him, even if that meant turning him to the dark side.

3. Jaisio Sta (3)

I have no idea what those three people were hoping to find. Jaisio Sta was just one of those things I had to type into a box to prove that I wasn’t a robot.

2. Sexposition (43), Sex Position Exposition (3), and Sex Position (3)

Forty-nine people found my blog because they were looking for help with their sex positions? That’s why Search Engine Optimization is stupid and unpredictable. There are no such instructions here, but if there were, my blog title would take on a whole new meaning, eh?

1. Chicken Cheeto Sandwich Tower (2)

I truly hope the two people on this particular quest found overwhelming success. 🙂

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