Blue Like Jazz and the Rest of Life

Hello, Dear Readers!

This weekend has been jam packed, and I should probably write several different posts to do everything justice, but, let’s be honest, that’s not going to happen.

So… Here are the highlights:

1. I saw the movie Blue Like Jazz… and you maybe should too. Donald Miller’s book was one of the first books I read enjoyed about Jesus. I’m not gonna lie, I expected the movie to end up being pretty horrible, but this is one of those times where it might not have been what I would have made of it, but it was decent. Donald Miller has never been a mainstream Christianity sort of writer. He’s a little too honest for that, which is one of his great appeals. However, that also means that this movie isn’t Courageous or Fireproof. It’s the kind of movie your non-believing friends might like better than you like it. Because it’s honest. And it’s dark. It’s covers hypocrisy in the church that was a little difficult for me to watch. It was a guy hating the culture of Christianity, and trying to reconcile that hatred with an authentic faith. It’s about a guy being ashamed of Jesus. So, if you watch it, keep those things in mind. Also, don’t expect the writing to blow you away. The best stories begin with a character who wants something and must overcome obstacles to get it (or not get it); this movie starts with a character who seems to want something that’s undefined, which makes him sort of like a piece of luggage in his own story, but if you settle yourself in until the end, you’ll be fine. If you stick with Don through everything that happens, you’ll get somewhere. It might not be somewhere awesome, but it’s somewhere honest, and I think that’s a good thing.

2. I’m taking a marriage class… that’s based on Mark Driscoll’s recently released book.

AND I’m enjoying it.

Really enjoying it so far.

I’ve been pretty done with marriage books for a good, long while now, feeling like they’re mostly filled with strategies or methods rather than biblical principles and I assumed Real Marriage was going to be like that too (ironically, the Driscolls address this in their book’s preface)…. After its release, I read reviews of the book and built up a solid bias against the thing, mostly because I’ve only ever read one good book about marriage (which was Piper’s This Momentary Marriage), I’ve only observed two or three marriages that I’m remotely interested in emulating, and it seems like the pastors who are most willing to thrust their marriages into the limelight are the ones whose wives are the closest to being drowned by life. I’ve been on the verge of giving up on marriage for years, often hoping no one will look my way because then I’ll have to think about this mysterious thing that causes heartbreak, yelling, hatred, tears, sin, and all dark things under the sun.

But then I was telling the Johnsons about a couple of dates I’d been on recently and Lisa suggested that I listen to the Real Marriage sermons… then they told me they would be teaching a 4-week class on marriage and I should come. As you probably know, they’ve got one of those rare marriages that I’m blessed to observe and hopeful to emulate. AND I’m just coming out of/leaving behind a long period of waiting for a guy who didn’t pick me, but it’s just as well that he didn’, because, had he picked me, I’d’ve had to think and prepare for marriage, which is way too scary. AND I’ve only read one book on marriage in the past seven or eight YEARS, so it’s probably about time for me to start thinking about it again if I ever intend to find a good guy to hang out with until I die.

So… I watched the sermons and went to the first class.

And I discovered that the sermons reveal a different Mark Driscoll than I’ve ever seen… of course he’s the same guy, but there’s a vulnerability now that fits him well and makes him seem more like a person. I also discovered that the book and supplementary materials match that vulnerable, humble Driscoll and discuss marriage in a way that’s edifying to wives, husbands and those of us who aren’t either of those things. They’ve got depth that’s usually lacking in the popular marriage manuals.

3. About a week ago, Shasta told me about a personality profile thing I’d never heard of before, so I checked it out, and evidently I’m a Nine. What this means is that my primary fear is being abandoned. It says a lot of other things about my type, but pretty much all of it (even the good stuff) stems from those fears.

Example: I’m easy-going… according to the Enneagram type thing, that’s because I’m trying so hard to make others happy and comfortable that I’m willing to endure anything (within reason).

“Where do you want to go for dinner, Katie?”

“Wherever. You pick.”

Also, I don’t have a good sense of self, because I tend to melt into other people and be what they want me to be. At first this sounded crazy to me, but the more I think about it, the more I think this stupid type nine is pretty right on.

Last night, I was doing the homework for the marriage class, which was to write down my story for my future spouse, including stuff about my childhood, parents, romantic history, and anything that a hubby ought to know. Well, I found myself writing a lot about my fears. I wrote a ton about the things about marriage that scare me, but the chunk of my story that surprised me the most was when I wrote about feeling like the only two options I had in conflict when I was a child were to give in or be alone and despised.

Soooo…. maybe I’m not the wilting flower that falls into tears once the conflict starts. Maybe I’m as fierce a battler as the next girl, but… prior to the conflict starting, I’m as Swiss as the Canadians.

“Katie, do you have time to grab coffee with me?”


“What temperature do you want the AC at?”

I don’t care.

“What should we do tonight?”

Whatever you want.

“I know you’re supposed to write and go for a run today, but can we talk (for three to five hours probably)?”

Sure – the answer is never no, and it’s usually, “I really don’t mind/care/have a preference.”

What if I am a conflict avoider? Weird. Who would’ve thought?

4. The school year is coming to an end, and I think this might be my favorite group of students (excluding the kids I taught my first year). I feel all warm and fuzzy towards all of them, and I just want to pinch their cheeks and give them ‘A’s… of course I won’t let them know that. 🙂

There were plenty of other things that I’m about to leave out, but I suspect you will survive without all the details. Much love to you all.



2 thoughts on “Blue Like Jazz and the Rest of Life

  1. So glad you are enjoying the marriage class. I share your same sentiment on by passing marriage books for the most part but seeing his book in a different light. I loved their transparency about the struggles they faced because it doesn’t show marriage in a overly glorified “we never have problems” kinda light.

    Good stuff.

  2. Katie, I love the fact you are taking a marriage course. I was never interested in marriage…at all…until God got a hold of my heart. I think it’s great that you put so much thought and effort into it. And it’s hard to face the thought of someone rejecting you because you don’t agree. I struggle with that too. Glad you had a great weekend:)

What are your thoughts on life, the universe, and everything?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s