In his book, Life Together, Deietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “God creates every man in the likeness of His son, the Crucified… even that image certainly looked strange and ungodly to me before I grasped it.”
I’ve recently been learning that I’m different and seperate from others, and that’s okay… and I’m learning that it’s an incalculable blessing when others allow me to live as I would rather than as they would.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing something wrong because it seems like lots of people see me as strange and ungodly. I suspect everyone faces that problem, but it certainly feels like I’m surrounded by those who are sure I’m doing it wrong, and should work to become less strange and ungodly to them.
I’m also learning that I’m not as shrewd as I fancy I am.
Matthew 10:16 says “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves; therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”
I always thought I struggled with innocence. I spent huge portions of time trying to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”, which, to me, meant getting rid of all those arrogant, selfish, wicked thoughts I had towards others. So it’s strange that upon reflection, I’m finding I’ve made any number of innocent, unshrewd choices over the past several years. I knew that lots of people saw my actions as naive, and they’d say things like, “It’s great that you have such a heart of grace, but…” and it never occurred to me that they were right, because I was so sure of the horrible, meanness inside of me, that I couldn’t imagine a version of myself that was excessively forgiving to the point of abandoning wisdom for warm fuzzies.
I’m learning that having a home that I like being in is invaluable. If and when I ever get married, I sure as heck better find a man who is okay doing his own thing lots of the time and doesn’t hate schedules. Shasta and I fit together like ‘Q’ fits with ‘U’ because most of our time at home is no-pressure, talk-to-me-if-you-feel-like-it rest and recovery… and then we plan time to get together and do accountability and talk about life: we do our own things, then we schedule together sorts of time. Bette Midler must have had a roommate like Shasta when she titled her “Experience the Divine” album.