Switching the Default to No


DELETE! (i JUST DELETED MY ENTIRE first draft of this POST, BECAUSE i’M AN IDIOT FOR TRYING TO JUSTIFY THIS WITH LOGIC. iT’S BETTER IF YOU GET TO EXPERIENCE THE CRAZY WITH ME.)

tHAT’S RIGHT! i’M DEFINITELY WRITING THIS POST WITH THE CAPS LOCK ON, AND i DON’T EVEN CARE. bECAUSE i’M so TIRED!

i JUST FINISHED MY FIRST DAY BACK AT WORK, AND i HAVE A COMPLETELY NEW PERSPECTIVE ON THE CRAZY i EMBODIED LAST YEAR.

dID YOU KNOW THAT i WROTE A BOOK, RAN AND TRAINED FOR A HALF MARATHON AND A 200-MILE RELAY RACE, POSTED HERE ON THE BLOG 5 DAYS A WEEK, MET EVERYONE AND HER MOM FOR COFFEE, CO-LED A BIBLE STUDY, WORKED FULL TIME, READ LIKE 30 BOOKS, KEPT UP WITH READING THAT MANY BLOGS EVERY DAY, AND HUNG OUT WITH FRIENDS/WENT TO CHURCH 4-7 TIMES A WEEK?

i WAS ALL KINDS OF CRAZED IDIOT.

wHICH IS WHY i HAD TO GO BACK JUST NOW AND COMPLETELY DELETE ALL OF THE REASONING AND LOGIC I HAD WRITTEN IN THIS POST TO JUSTIFY WHY i’M RESETTING MY DEFAULT ANSWER TO NO. IT IS DEFINITELY no!

wHEN PEOPLE ASK ME TO DO ANYTHING, THE ANSWER WILL START AS NO, THEN SWITCH TO YES ONLY IF THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON.

pERFECT EXAMPLE OF HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME: i GOT HOME FROM WORK JUST NOW AFTER A FULL DAY OF MEETINGS, SETTING UP THE CLASSROOM, PLANNING THE FIRST MONTH OR SO OF LESSONS, MEETING WITH ADMINISTRATORS TO GO OVER THE UNFORTUNATE PROBLEMS WE’RE HAVING WITH LAWS AND WHATNOT, AND FILLING OUT PAPERWORK. tHAT STUFF HAPPENED FROM 7:30 – 4:00 AND i GOT HOME AT AROUND 4:15. i SAT DOWN TO EAT A BANANA  TALK TO EUCALYPTUS BISCUIT A BIT. sHE HAD LEFT A NOTE FOR ME ON OUR HOUSE DRY ERASE BOARD ASKING IF i WANTED TO CARPOOL TO THE BBQ TONIGHT.

“wHICH BBQ?” i ASKED.

“pHIL’S.”

“i WASN’T INVITED,” i SAID.

“yOU’RE INVITED. hE JUST DOESN’T HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER.”

“oKAY.”

i FINISHED EATING MY BANANA AND THREW THE PEEL AWAY.

“i HAVE TO LEAVE. i’M MEETING sHASTA FOR COFFEE IN THIRTY MINUTES,” i SAID.

“oKAY. i’LL FORWARD YOU THE ADDRESS FOR pHIL’S.”

nOW, i’M SITTING AT sTARBUCKS. that’s RIGHT, da bANCROFT… sTARBUCKS. bECAUSE i NEED A DOUBLE-SHOT LIKE now (AND CAN i JUST SAY THAT BARRISTA eRIC IS JUST ABOUT THE MOST ATTRACTIVE MAN I’VE EVER MET. hIS HAIR HAS THAT WAVY, LONG RUN-MY-FINGERS-THROUGH-IT LOOK RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE JUST DID THE SWEETEST THING ANYONE’S EVER DONE FOR ME – HE GAVE ME A TREAT RECEIPT DISCOUNT EVEN THOUGH I DIDN’T HAVE A TREAT RECEIPT… SO NOW I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH HIM).

ANYWAYS, MY THOUGHT PROCESS ABOUT PHIL’S BBQ WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS: IT WOULD BE RUDE OF ME NOT TO GO, RIGHT? rIGHT. i SHOULD AT LEAST MAKE AN APPEARANCE. i MEAN, i’VE ONLY HUNG OUT WITH EVERYONE Three times THIS WEEK, AND SINCE I’M GOING TO A DIFFERENT CHURCH NOW, i WON’T EVEN SEE THEM THIS WEEKEND. tHAT’S RUDE OF ME, RIGHT? i PRETTY MUCH HAVE TO GO. pHIL WILL THINK i HATE HIM IF i DON’T GO…

Shasta and I were counting how many events our group of friends had (and expected us to attend) this week.

6

Do you realize that there was only 1 day this week when I wasn’t expected to hang out with that group of friends.

1. What about my other friends? What about my church, and time with Jesus, and gaming time, and one-on-ones and training for a marathon and writing a book?

We’re crazy. No wonder I was so tired last year.

i THOUGHT ABOUT those things when I was trying to talk myself into attending the bbq, AND  I REALIZED THAT i’M NOT A BAD PERSON FOR NOT GOING TO A BBQ i WASN’T OFFICIALLY INVITED TO AND DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT UNTIL ABOUT TWO HOURS BEFORE IT STARTED… WHEN I ALREADY HAD PLANS THAT OVERLAPPED WITH IT ANYWAYS.

i’M not A BAD PERSON! AND HOW RUDE OF YOU ALL TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY LIKE THIS.

rESETTING dEFAULT: no.

pLEASE, NO.

JUST LET ME DO YOGA AND GO TO SLEEP.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Switching the Default to No

What are your thoughts on life, the universe, and everything?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s