There’s Courage… and then There’s Courage


I’ve never struggled much to find courage.

When it comes to doing the thing that needs to be done, I’m decent at just doing it.

I don’t lollygag. I don’t try to talk myself out of it.

I just do the thing that needs to be done, regardless of how scary the thing is.

Example: I called Dad Dave once and I was like, “So… that boy we both know who is all amazing and perfect… I like him. What do I do?”

Dave was like, “You should tell him.”

I was like, “Yeah… I’m not sure I want to do that. Aren’t there some interested boy signals I can look for?”

Dave was like, “No. You should tell him.”

I thought about it for a minute or two, and I was like, “I don’t know if I’m going to do that.”

Dave was like, “I know, but that’s what you should do.”

About five minutes after we hung up, I decided to talk to the boy.

He rejected me.

A couple of years later, I called Dave again and was like, “Hey – that boy we both know who is amazing and perfect… I still like him. What do I do?”

Dave was like, “You should tell him.”

I was like, “I already did that once. He rejected me.”

Dave was like, “I know. You should tell him anyways and you shouldn’t just say that you like him because we both know it’s more than like at this point.”

About five minutes after we hung up, I decided to tell him again.

I told him again. Even in the face of nearly certain rejection, I had the courage to tell him.

Because that’s who I am.

The funny thing is, that I don’t think that was real courage.

Telling him made sense.

It made sense both times because the possible outcomes of telling him were better than continuing on with things as they were. There was the possibility of moving forward towards dinner and a movie, hand-holding, and all of those other romantic things. And there was the possibility of moving forward away from him. Both things seemed better than the not moving forward.

Standing still is really difficult.

Because standing still is making the choice to let things turn out as they will. As God wills. Standing still is trusting that God is going to put you in exactly the right place at the right time for the most magnificent of purposes.

I’ve never had to do anything (or not do anything) with a courage built on trust in God’s choice rather than my own.

Telling the boy how I felt was my choice both times.

Right now, though, I face a moment that calls for real courage.

God has communicated something to me with gentleness and patience.

The trouble is that I don’t want to do it.

I can’t see how doing it would be better than not doing it.

I know that if God told me to do it, it has to be better than not doing it… but I don’t agree that it’s the thing to be done.

I know that’s stupid.

I know in my head, but my heart cries out, “NO! Anything but that!”

Which is probably why God is asking me to do it.

Because when I do it, I will know what it is to trust God.

I will know Him as I haven’t known Him before.

Now, if only I could muster the courage to do it.

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7 thoughts on “There’s Courage… and then There’s Courage

  1. Well, I guess I’ll be the first to post and say “It sounds like you should totally freakin’ do it (whatever it is).”

    Now I will say, I don’t know many Christians who will say that there was that ONE thing that they did in their walk with Christ that just got rid of all their trust issues. So, the moment you decide to do whatever it is you do, just remember to not be discouraged if that feeling doesn’t go away.

    When it comes to trust, there’s always more. And that’s how it should be. Just like any personal relationship with anybody, it takes time, effort, and repetition to develop trust. This could be the first step of many to get you where you want (or even need) to be.

    It hangs with us. We’re human. Yes, you will have a much better understanding of what trusting God looks like, but that one thing probably isn’t going to make that feeling go away.

    Whatever you’re about to do, it sounds like you’re starting an adventure.

    Now I will type a word to break the mood/tension:

    Polymorphic

      • Upon reading this comment I must inform you of what I can or can not do.

        I must always make sure that I am doing or not doing the thing(s) that I must or must not do at all times. This limits me to only doing things that I must do or must not do on behalf of myself and only myself. The only exception for this would be times I may intervene in the workings of others, and that is only if that person must do or must not do something that requires me to do or not do something. Then I would be forced to do or not do the actions required of me.

        Also, I cannot undo, redo, or reredo anything that has already been done, despite my ability to undo or redo or reredo at my will, unless acted upon by my need or not need to do or not do something. This ability only applies to me unless of course it is required from those of others.This usually results in me doing or not doing something that will likely keep/change a situation based on the needs that are asked of/needed/not needed of me and my actions.

        I can “do it for you” as long as it does not violate anything in the above statement(s).

        If you can follow this, then you have your answer. If you can’t read this, then you have your answer…

  2. I’m like Christina…a chicken. But I also agree with the first person who commented…you don’t automatically become more trusting because you obeyed God once.

    So, do what He is telling you to since it’s obviously part of a big freakin’ picture that you can’t see. And the next time He asks you to do something, you will only think about it twice instead of three times before you muster up the courage to do it 🙂 I speak from experience!

  3. I’m not sure whether your obedient act (or non-act) involves another person (or people). If so, the big picture widens. You may lack the foresight to understand the work of obedience He is asking of the other party or parties. Your non-action may serve as a catalyst for their action. Your action may serve as a measure of grace to one struggling to act.

    Even if this is totally off-base and you cannot recognize the other people connected to your obedience, be assured that the Body will share in His glory if you do what He’s asked.

    Likewise, you are only missing the blessing if you choose disobedience. I think of how Aslan tells the kids in the Chronicles that, “Nobody knows what would have happened.” God is sovereign enough that somebody will share in His glory. You will not ruin your faith in disobedience, and God will not cease to be glorified in the end.

    But why not let it be you, in such a time as this?

    • How did I end up with such amazing readers?

      D.A. – Thanks for making me smile… on an almost-daily basis. 🙂

      Christina – Prayers are always appreciated.

      Lori – I really like what you wrote about only thinking about it twice next time. That’s probably way more realistic than the way I was thinking about it. Also, it’s a funny, yet humble way to think about it.

      A.W. – So NOT off-base. You’re comment made me realize how ego-centric I’ve been in thinking about this. I haven’t at all been thinking about doing it for the body. I’ve been thinking about doing it for myself. 😦

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