Alright… it’s time for me to write another post, and I’ve very little to write about.
Therefore, we resort to the 10-minute freewrite!
Ready, set, go!
I’m currently sitting at my favorite bakery, waiting for the call saying that the oil has been changed on my car and I can go back and pay. I just ate a bacon, egg, and cheese croissant… mmmmmm.
Also, on my way here (I walked – I love walking) I stopped in at a clothing store and bought my first running skirt! Okay, it’s really a tennis skirt, but who cares? Ever since Ragnar when this adorable chick running in a tennis dress smoked me, I’ve wanted to be just like her. I’ve wanted to be adorable and fierce at the same time. Running in a skirt seems exactly that! Also, it reminds me of the film A League of their Own, which is one of my all-time favorites.
“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard everybody would do it. The hard is what makes it great.” Tom Hanks says that in the movie.
Life is currently more than I could ever hope for it to be.
Pastor Pete’s (little church) sermons have been so completely simple and wonderful that I’ve been all teary. It’s funny, because I’ve spent the last year or so trying to become more vulnerable, but when I went to little church and started participating in Bible study, I realized that I’m significantly more vulnerable than I think I am. In our discussions, I’ve found myself being the one who takes things to the personal level or shares what my heart is doing. Everyone else is like, “Hypothetically speaking, the pain and suffering in the world is theologically explained through the sovereignty of God.” Which is true. But I’m the one who’s all emotional and experiential. So that’s pretty awesome and surprising.
Something else awesome about little church is how every time I’m there, I’m surprised at how much God teaches me, how people engage with me, and how a single sermon can remind a heart of mysteries chased and studied for years. Sometimes, I think, “Maybe I should just stay at big church. I can help out with the kids’ program. There are people there I truly love and enjoy. Maybe I was wrong in thinking God put me at Holy Cross. I can work SUPER hard in my own time, and not rely on the church for my spiritual growth or delight in God.” Sometimes, I talk myself into going there and giving up Holy Cross because getting to know knew people is hard.
But then I go back to little church.
And I know that God has me there.
I get confused, though, because I can’t convince myself to completely give up big church.
New topic in freewrite: I’m tired. It’s supposed to be summer. I’m supposed to be playing ASSASSIN’S CREED.
Do you know that I haven’t once played a video game (and I mean played in the sense that I’m at home, entertaining myself… not playing an FPS that someone else talked me into playing for 10 minutes at his house).
I need gaming time!
I don’t know how it keeps happening, but I have an unhealthily-full schedule. I’m sure it’s my fault, so it’s my current goal to calm my schedule down more than a little.
Along those same lines, writing is exhausting right at the moment. All of last semester, my crit. partners were ridiculously slow at getting back to me, so I was sure the summer would leave me with a lot of time for working on my own stuff. WRONG. My partners are evidently in a whirlwind of writing jubilee, and I keep having to critique it when I want to be finishing up revisions on my own work and sending it out for one last read-through from people I know in real-life.
Also, along those same lines: I need to learn to say no.
I don’t know why it’s so difficult, and it’s funny because I’m not at all that delicate flower who just can’t muster the gumption to say no. The problem is that I love everything. I love kids. I love books. I love coffee. I love exercise. I love refugees. I love church. I love helping. I love building. I love writing. I love blogs. I love texting. I love walking. I love trying new things. I love people. I love food. I love running. I love talking. I love everything.
I don’t say yes because I’m being steamrolled. I say yes because I want to do whatever the thing is that everyone is asking me to do! I want to do EVERYTHING.
TIME IS UP!
Hopefully I’ll have time and inspiration to prepare something more structured and awesome for you next time.
Until then… THANK YOU for reading my blog.
I like all of you and love that you’re here and being my friends and pixel buddies.