Since attending my new church for the first time, I’ve made a serious effort to make friends. It’s not at all in my nature to talk to people I don’t know, but I made it my mission to meet everyone. I inserted myself into other peoples’ conversations. I awkwardly said, “Hi. I’m Katie,” and usually people looked at me like I was crazy, then introduced themselves. Then they’d forget me. Christina, however, was one of the few people I awkwardly met, and she still talks to me 🙂 Christina wrote the following blog post over at RANDOM UTTERINGS FROM A COLLEGE STUDENT and I loved the honest way she examines the dilemma of how to be “in the world, but not of the world.” Totally rebloggable.
Lately in my choir class I’ve been venturing out and hanging out between classes with those I don’t really know or wouldn’t normally talk to that much. After Chorale gets out I normally put my headphones on and listen to music and either walk around the class a few times or work on homework. But today I decided to go outside for once and not use my Ipod. I went over to where one of the tenors who I do exchange pleasantries with was smoking. I don’t normally go where people are smoking since I have a hard time breathing around the smoke but today I decided to see what they were up to. I didn’t assume any of these people (two tenors one alto and one other soprano) were Christians nor did I exclude myself because of that. They (I assume since one has asked) know that my major is Christian Ministry, and they didn’t leave me out of the conversation even though I was visibly uncomfortable with the current topic.
Now you may ask, “Christina, why would you stay with a group that was talking about subjects that you wouldn’t normally talk about?” And I will answer you, you see I’m trying to be more open with people. No longer do I stare out the window and ignore people on the bus(but I also don’t strike up conversations with the first person to look at me..that’s sometimes is awkward.), instead I smile politely at them and move over to make room if it looks like they might have to stand. When I get on I smile at the bus driver and when I get off I thank them. I think that they need to be thanked more often, but that’s for another time.
Now back to the conversation outside. I’m not really going to get into it simply because I don’t feel comfortable doing so, however I will say this. One of the tenors was disrespecting one of the girls. But it wasn’t done to her face, nope it was don’t after she left. And then joined in the other female and other tenor. I was the only one just sitting there. Although I do see myself just as bad as them for not speaking up firmly I don’t fully place myself in their category. After a bit of it I decided to say something, but at the same time I didn’t want to say anything that would make them shun me and start mocking me about my Christianity. I simply said “That’s really mean [insert tenor’s name] and walked away.
I have decided that I am no longer not speaking up about things like that, nor will I laugh just to “seem normal”. See I used to be one of those girls that used to get made fun of and everyone would just laugh instead of having a voice for me. So I have decided to become an advocate for those girls who either get made fun of, get disrespected or just feel left out. From experience I know what it’s like to have even one voice going along to help you, so I figured it’s time to pay it forward..sure it’s late but, better late then never right?
Well anyway I just wanted to get that out since I don’t see it happen often enough, it’s time (especially since we are in college) to grow up and not stand for this anymore. Break the status quot so to speak. So until later