It’s been a long time since I’ve done a good ungirly sort of post, so here goes…
When I was in high school, I was pretty sure I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. I hadn’t many experiences with kids and I rarely cooked, but that’s what I was going to do with my life. Sure, I’d play softball for awhile, but my plan was that as soon as I got married I’d give it all up to pop out some babies and take care of them forever. I’d cook, clean, homeschool, vaccuum in heels, drive a mini-van and the whole bit.
I even started practicing a little by cooking for my family. I didn’t get much enthusiasm from them about it; they’d eat whatever I made, but it was always like I got a pat on the head and then sent on my way.
It was never like I was doing something useful.
We could always go out and buy Wendy’s so it seemed like cooking real food was only a special occasion thing.
So I gave up.
I got my degree, joined the workforce, became really good at other things, and forgot about the whole stay-at-home mom thing.
However, my new church is a family-oriented, homeschool your kids kind of culture, and is reminding me of the plans I once had for my life.
Part of me rebels because I’ve been in the church (not specifically my new church, but the whole church body) long enough to be tired of seeing girls focus more on marriage and wifey-ness than they focus on God. I’m tired of the stay-at-home mom functional idol that’s promoted in the church. I want more than that. I want to know God.
I haven’t wanted to be a wife and mom for a long time. Of course I wanted a companion. I wanted someone to hold hands with and pray with, brush my teeth next to, but I’ve been afraid of losing God somewhere in the diaper-changing and dinner-on-the-table-when-he-gets-home lifestyle. I know that isn’t something that inherently happens when a girl gets married, but it doesn’t inherently not happen either, and I’ve seen plenty of wives become a bit too Stepford too fast, and lose everything else.
So I’m fighting an internal battle right now. I know I’d be fulfilled in serving suburbia just as much as in the killing fields of Cambodia, so this inner debate is a little silly.
This week was Spring Break. I hiked, wrote, cooked, read, cleaned, bought new sheets that actually fit my bed, and did all sorts of things I never have time to do after a full day of work… things that are valuable.
I had time to meet with 3 different girls for coffee. I HAD TIME!
We talked about sin, sovereignty, trust, the purpose of the church, etc… Excruciating vulnerability was easy this week because I wasn’t bogged down by teens whose middle-class parents pissed them off by taking away the cell phone for a week.
Teachers make a difference.
And I’m a decent teacher.
What if I could be meeting with 5 ladies a week? Right now, I’m able to meet with 1 without going insane. Might be cool huh? What if God has something different for me?
What if teaching isn’t for me any more?
At the end of every school year, I evaluate my career track. Overseas missions, writing, barrista-ing part-time, continuing teaching, and any number of other things go back on the table and I consider what God would have me do. Amid that, all of the being domestic stuff surrounding me right now has me wondering if I ought to quit teaching. All of this writerly stuff seems pretty conducive to that as well.
What does the bible say about this?
Titus 2:5 tells women to be “workers in the home” and 1Timothy 5:15 mentions keeping house. Other than that, I didn’t find a whole lot of biblical backing for a women in the kitchen mentality. But it’s there. No matter how few verses there are, it’s there. Of course both of these verses apply to specifically to wives, but it’s something to think about…
I clearly don’t know what I think about it, so feel free to let me know what you think about those two verses, church culture and how domestic women ought to be. 🙂 Because I’m still just nurturing the delicate flower and have a lot of blooming to do before I’ve got this worked out in my head.
Here’re some pictures of my Spring Break ungirly endeavors. 🙂
Oh – I should probably tell you why I wanted to make a roast, huh? I was doing research and ran across a stat that I’ve forgotten and will now proceed to incorrectly try to reproduce: 50 years ago, something like 80% of new wives knew how to cook a roast when they got married. Only like 40% know nowadays. Don’t trust me, though, I definitely don’t remember the stat.
On to the pictures:
For those of you who are serious about cooking and whatnot, I did some marinating in wine and worcheshire sauce, and I stuffed cloves of garlic into little holes in the meat… and I didn’t do much else. I stole those things from various recipes because for some reason, I never love entire recipes. I like little bits of them, which I steal and combine. Real chefs are like that 😉 We never measure anything either.