There’s been a lot of growth in my understanding of femininity over the past several years. Sometimes, I focus on things that seem to be superficial like make-up and high-heels. Sometimes I read through Proverbs 31 and ask myself if I am that woman. Sometimes I cook. Sometimes I read Elizabeth Elliot books.
Last week, I took time off from mousse in my hair and all of the other things I normally do to learn about womanhood because I get out of hand sometimes with forcing it.
So that brings us to this week. Usually during my lunch break at work, I lock myself in my classroom and listen to Mark Driscoll sermons. I especially like the series about the Gospel of John right now because it’s the book we’re covering in Bible Study right now and I need to know things. All of last week, though, I was too overloaded to really study. Whenever that happens, I try to go through sermons on topics I’m well-versed in. One such subject is Chrisian romance. Ddon’t mock… we all read more books and watch more sermons about it than we’re willing to admit.
I clicked over to the Mars Hill website, and at the top of the list of most popular sermons was one about Marriage and Men. Rather than start there, it made sense to me to find the Marriage and Women sermon and go through that one. I did that on Thursday, and it was exactly what I expected it to be – “helper”, “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”, and “wives submit yourselves to your own husbands”. These are verses that I LOVE and have studied and thought about probably more than any others, so while I didn’t take in any new information, I enjoyed listening.
Friday during my lunch, I figured I’d just keep on going and watch the Marriage and Men sermon. I know I’m weird. I almost talked myself out of it by reasoning that a “real woman” watches the sermon meant for her. Luckily I went ahead and watched it.
The sermon started off normal enough. It covered the verse out of 1Peter about honoring women as the weaker vessels. But it wasn’t long into the sermon before Driscoll went seriously angry. He started calling men cowards and yelling like I haven’t ever heard anyone yell since I was a kid (and possibly not even then). I was half-heartedly grading papers while I listened, but I was having too much trouble focusing. Also, Driscoll everntually went from yelling to YELLING. His anger was directed at men who dishonor women by beating, controlling, collecting porn, manipulating, etc…
and then praying to God.
His point was that God does not answer these men’s prayers. God protects His daughters and holds the fierce anger of a Father whose daughters are being messed with.
I can’t describe what that meant to me. I’ve so struggled to relate to God as Father, and… I’m undone. Driscoll used his own daughters as an example, urging men to consider how he would react to a man dishonoring his daughter then asking for his help. The look of fierce anger on Driscoll’s face blew me away. I’ve never felt protected like that. To see a man – just a normal dad expressing love for his daughters that way… I can’t imagine how God loves His daughters.
I can’t understand how He loves me.