I have been in a state of nonrest for the past 3 weeks or so, and it caught up with me today. I don’t really understand the source of my unrest. Partly, I just don’t go to bed. I feel exhausted, but there’s always something to do or someone to talk to, and I can’t say no. It’s a problem. Then, I get in bed, with the possibility of a perfectly respectful 6 hrs or so, but I just keep thinking about this and that and the other thing and how 6 hrs isn’t enough, and I stress myself into 6 hrs of nonrest. It’s unfortunate.
Also, the things that are on my mind lately are numerous and important. Family isn’t going great right now, and I have some decisions to make that I want to make for the right reasons. Church is AMAZING, but I need to say no. Roommates and I are talking and getting to know each other… until 3:00 some mornings, but the conversations are important and I don’t know how to end them. I haven’t spent much of any time with any non-Crossing church friends lately. I’m training for a half-marathon. I’m writing a book. I’m cooking and nurturing the delicate flower inside. And I can’t catch up and rest. The Benadryl didn’t even help last night. I stressed through half of one for the first 4 hours of the night. Then Annabelle FREAKED out and made me get out of bed to take care of her nonrest. Then I talked to Roommate Amy who was experiencing a similar state of nonrest. Then I went back to bed, but had to get up because I’d been up for about 20 hours and only eaten twice. I ate, then laid down for another hour, finding that sleep was still impossible. So I called in sick, took a Benadryl, and just woke up from the best 4 hours of sleep I’ve experienced in weeks.
That’s how I come to be at home this beautiful Monday while someone else teaches my fourth hour class. I’m in bliss right at this moment. I have the house all to myself until about 6:00 tonight, which should help with my stress because I am decidedly introverted and being around people all the time wears me out. I gain energy from being alone. Yay!
So, I’ve started writing a bunch of different blog entries that I’ll go ahead and finish up for you and post. I’ve been trying to not to write about romance all that much, but a couple of the posts coming up are romance-heavy. I’ve been reexamining my romantic philosophies lately, and I think it’ll be good to write about that.
I leave you now with a toast – to rest, a peaceful mind, and good health.
Tink! (that’s the sound of our wine glasses tinking each other)