The Torture of Nonrest


I have been in a state of nonrest for the past 3 weeks or so, and it caught up with me today.  I don’t really understand the source of my unrest.  Partly, I just don’t go to bed.  I feel exhausted, but there’s always something to do or someone to talk to, and I can’t say no.  It’s a problem.  Then, I get in bed, with the possibility of a perfectly respectful 6 hrs or so, but I just keep thinking about this and that and the other thing and how 6 hrs isn’t enough, and I stress myself into 6 hrs of nonrest.  It’s unfortunate.

Also, the things that are on my mind lately are numerous and important.  Family isn’t going great right now, and I have some decisions to make that I want to make for the right reasons.  Church is AMAZING, but I need to say no.  Roommates and I are talking and getting to know each other… until 3:00 some mornings, but the conversations are important and I don’t know how to end them.  I haven’t spent much of any time with any non-Crossing church friends lately.  I’m training for a half-marathon.  I’m writing a book.  I’m cooking and nurturing the delicate flower inside.  And I can’t catch up and rest. The Benadryl didn’t even help last night.  I stressed through half of one for the first 4 hours of the night.  Then Annabelle FREAKED out and made me get out of bed to take care of her nonrest.  Then I talked to Roommate Amy who was experiencing a similar state of nonrest.  Then I went back to bed, but had to get up because I’d been up for about 20 hours and only eaten twice.  I ate, then laid down for another hour, finding that sleep was still impossible.  So I called in sick, took a Benadryl, and just woke up from the best 4 hours of sleep I’ve experienced in weeks.

That’s how I come to be at home this beautiful Monday while someone else teaches my fourth hour class.  I’m in bliss right at this moment.  I have the house all to myself until about 6:00 tonight, which should help with my stress because I am decidedly introverted and being around people all the time wears me out.  I gain energy from being alone.  Yay!

So, I’ve started writing a bunch of different blog entries that I’ll go ahead and finish up for you and post.  I’ve been trying to not to write about romance all that much, but a couple of the posts coming up are romance-heavy.  I’ve been reexamining my romantic philosophies lately, and I think it’ll be good to write about that.

I leave you now with a toast – to rest, a peaceful mind, and good health.

Tink! (that’s the sound of our wine glasses tinking each other)

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One thought on “The Torture of Nonrest

  1. I listen to sermons when I fall asleep. It really helps get my mind off my day. I started doing it because I couldn’t sleep and then I would just randomly fall asleep during the sermon. Now, I just put them on every night and fall asleep as they play. I’m glad you had a day off! It sounds like you haven’t been sleeping!

    I have a parent meeting on Wednesday, so I can’t run. We can meet on Thursday if you want? How’s your knee?

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