I read a post on another blog awhile back, and it SO fit ME! It was basically a lineup of authors just like a baseball/softball lineup. So… I decided to put my own lineup together. I’t's completely subjective, and there were no rules. Here it is:
1. Leading off and playing center field, we’ve got my current love affair… Suzanne Collins. Even though there are plenty of authors who have better form and durability, there’s just something about Collins that manages to get on base every time. She always makes contact, and you can’t ask a lot more out of a lead-off hitter. She probably won’t have the steady career a number 5 hitter has, but right now, she’s getting the job done.
2. Batting second, playing second is the master of modern horror… Stephen King. He cranks out work that gets the job done, which is what batting second is all about. His good form and consistency may not make him the flashiest player around, but a manager always knows what to expect from him.
3. George Orwell is catching and batting in the three-spot. With such hard-hitting tales as 1984 and even “Shooting an Elephant”, one can’t but place Orwell in the heart of the lineup. With the flexibility to write both novels and short stories, he makes an ideal battery-mate for any pitcher and the perfect hitter for pressure-packed moments at the plate.
4. Joseph Heller bats clean-up for us and plays left field. He shocked the heck out of us with the home-run that was Catch-22, but he’s definitely not the kind of hitter we’d expect to see consistent singles from. He’s in the line-up for one reason: to occasionally knock it out of the park.
5. Designated Hitter – J.K. Rowling Capable of going yard, but with a poise under pressure and a reliability we might not see from the four-spot, Rowling is the one we expect to come through (and come through big) when no one else can. She’s the one we turn to when the whole team is in a slump, and we can’t bear to face another disappointment from those players everyone keeps raving about… but never quite satisfy. She’s the one who always exceeds our expectations.
6. In right field, batting sixth… Frances Hodgson Burnett. At first look, Burnett may seem better suited to the AAA farm team, but in reality, she’s one of those players who helps everyone around her grow up just a little bit. She encourages her teammates and teaches us to believe that even in the middle of a crappy season, the pennant is just around the corner, and cinderella stories happen more often than we know. We don’t expect shock and awe from Burnett, but we trust that with her on the team, all of the other players will grow into maturity and the atmosphere in the dugout will be brighter for having her around.
7. E.E. Cummings bats seventh for us and plays 3rd base. He might have ridiculous form, but something about him draws success. It’s not pretty, but he gets the job done. He’s also our lone poet, which requires a scrappiness and stubborn nonconfomity you can’t find in the delicate wanderings of a Frost.
8. Playing 1st base and batting eighth, we have Arthur Miller. In every lineup, there needs to be diversity. He may not quite fit in with all of the novelists in our lineup, but every team needs a good playwright, and especially one who can remind us when we’ve gotten off track and are fighting amongst ourselves rather than our true opponents. He also brings us some much-needed publicity with pretty Marilyn sitting in the stands and supporting her hubby.
9. Filling out the bottom of the lineup, we’ve got Nicholas Sparks playing short. He’s certainly not an all-star, but every team needs that guy who is good but not great. With predictable plots and a softness the other guys lost to the steroids, Sparks quietly achieves an average in the .200 – .250 range, with only a few errors at short and quite a few double-plays thanks to his talent for smooth swiftness.