My Top Ten for a Public Number Two

English: This is used to pee in the bathroom. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

When you gotta go, you gotta go, right?

 

Not to turn Still Growing into a crass, poopy place, but, as my friend Maria says, “It’s natural.”

 

10.

 

9.

 

8.

 

7.

 

6.

 

5. Parks - So, the stalls may not have doors on them… at least I know I won’t make the situation worse than it already is. Just make sure you keep some TP on hand in the car at all times.

 

4. Fry’s Marketplace - I’m not sure why, but I’ve used this one several times. Positive: there are rarely other people in there, so it’s relatively private in contrast with some other public washrooms.

 

3. The Student Bathroom at Work – This one’s weird, I know, but if I use the teacher bathroom, everyone knows it was me and I win the “Don’t Go in There After Me” Dundie Award. Also, it cracks me up how teen girls act about poop, so I like the feeling that I’m educating students about the real world by using their bathroom with none of their timidity and shame.

 

2. Barns & Noble – I’m not really sure why, but it seems like everyone poops at B&N. You just have to watch Mean Girls to realize that even the plastics do their business there.

 

1. Starbucks – Okay, so Starbucks is number one in my book for just about everything, but you have to admit that their bathrooms are always clean enough that I’m not grossed out, but never really clean enough that I’d feel guilty about doing something serious in there. Also, you get your own private room rather than having to deal with stalls.

 

Wow. After attempting to make this list, I realize that public number twos stink (pun intended). I only came up with half as many locations as I thought I’d have .

 

You’ll have to fill in the blanks for me. What are the other top 5 spots for a public number two?

 

Dude, Get the Lyrics Right

I don’t have a good reason for posting this… I was just clicking, which led me to this video, which led me to smile.

And rather than being bothered by this guy’s inability to hit the high notes, I was more annoyed that he didn’t know the words, but I have to give him props for fearlessly continuing on regardless.

“You said that I was not even,”?????

Dude, get the lyrics right; it’s, “You said that I was  NAIVE…”

Not as Intense as Gary Keillor

I’ve felt off lately.

Not in a new or disturbing sense, but in a way that makes me believe I’ve been off for quite a long time and just haven’t realized it, or possibly just haven’t fixed it.

I’ve had super-terrible allergies for the past few months, and while I’m slightly ashamed to admit it, I laid on the couch for two days doing nothing, because I was suffering – Not in the real, I have an incurable disease way, but more in the 1st world troubles way. I brought a trash can and a roll of TP into the living room and blew the heck out of my nose, and felt very sorry for myself with every blow. It took me at least two hours of mental preparation every time I had to leave the house (to water some friends’ plants while they’re out of town). Also, I had to go to Walmart to make a couple of keys for the new roommate. That’s right, Walmart got a key-making machine that talks to you.

Other than those two things, I didn’t leave the house. I was convinced that I was actually sick (rather than just wimpy) with some sort of infectious disease, so I gave myself two days to rest before going to the Minute-Clinic and getting FOUR prescriptions and TWO over-the-counter-drug-recommendations to deal with my allergies. I’m now the happy owner of two nasal spray things, an inhaler, and some pills.

And you know what I realized while I was lounging around, feeling sorry for myself, and saving the universe from the Collectors?

I realized that I should lay around more often.

Way back in the day (four years ago or so) I used to fall asleep on the couch on a daily basis. I’d turn on a movie or TV show, then conk right out.

And I didn’t regret it one bit.

I also went for a walk every day.

I also did lots of work-out videos and didn’t run all that much.

And I didn’t feel guilty about those life-style choices. At all.

Then, I got some sort of idea that I was wasting time when I wasn’t busy. That I was going to get terribly fat if I didn’t run 10 miles a week. That my brain would rot if I played video games for more than a couple of hours a week. That I was a bad person if I stayed home when I didn’t have a good reason to. That God was disappointed in me when I wasn’t in Bible Study two or three nights a week.

Growing up does that to a girl.

I used to only put on real clothes if I knew I was going to see friends or colleagues. The rest of the time, I wore what was comfortable.

Nowadays, I’m always wearing shoes. Even to watch TV. Who needs shoes to watch TV?

So… challenge: I am much better at being my lounge-about self when no one is around, because having others around makes me feel fat and lazy. With Kendra moving in next month, I think it’s important that I do what I want to do.

My goal with the first roommates was to change. And I think I did – perhaps not in the ways I should have, and certainly not in the ways they wanted me to change, but I felt like it was an important step for me to grow up and live with other people.

Then, with Shasta, my goal was to survive and get life re-railed (because it felt very de-railed).

Now, I’ve got my own little house that I love, and my goal has been to settle in, which I’ve done very well.

Next goal: When Kendra moves in, I’d like to stay settled in. I want to be predictable, reliable, ordinary, relaxed, etc… and I want to change for Kendra when appropriate, but I think it’s a mistake going into anything with a plan to change, because God changes us when and how He wants to, and no amount of being busy and restless will help that.

The New Roommate

So…  a couple of months ago, I bought a house, and it’s awesome. I have thoroughly enjoyed my solitude, but I’ve also been praying for the right roommate to come along. I don’t particularly need a roommate, but it’s nice to know that someone else is around, even if I don’t want to talk to her. With roommates, I enjoy lounging around, discovering bad TV shows and movies, and also going for walks. However, I’ve had enough roommates now to feel cautious about the whole thing, because I want to improve upon my solitude rather than just end it for the sake of $.

Because of my ambivalence about living with another person, I haven’t been particularly proactive about finding one; I’ve put the news out there to people in my circle that I might like to rent out a room eventually, but I haven’t done anything beyond that.

Enter Kendra.

Kendra is someone I don’t know very well. but I’ve been in a Bible Study with her for a few months and she seems pretty chill. She emailed me last week letting me know that her lease is up in June, and she’d be interested in renting one of my extra rooms. So she came over and we talked for a couple of hours.

She seems delightful – like the type of girl who doesn’t need me. I know that’s weird, but I’ve realized that the primary complaint girls will have about my personality is connected to my inattentiveness to her (often unspoken) emotional needs. And, let’s be honest, the previous roommates are not wrong about my neglect. It’s real. I do not care about the minutia of another person’s day, which sounds rude, but you have to also take into account the absence of care I show for the minutia of my own life. I often don’t notice when someone cuts me off in traffic, and, in fact, I probably won’t remember a single thing from my entire day just 24 hours after it’s over. I rarely remember offensive or rude things people do to me because I’m a teacher, which means people are rude to me all day. So… I need a roommate who doesn’t need me or want/need me to need her. Thus far, Kendra seems to fit that description, so I’m hoping it’ll all be perfect and lovely with her.

Sidenote: I’m very excited about having some extra income, because I’ve discovered that making my house into what I want it to be is absurdly expensive. Patio furniture, bakers rack, curtains for a few rooms, dresser/bedroom skinny table, wall decor, fire pit, grill and about twenty other items are currently on my list… of course these are silly, 1st-world sort of needs, but I’m excited about them nonetheless. I haven’t yet posted any pics of the house, but I should probably get on that, eh?

My 10 Must-Have Foods for Home

Now that I’m a home-owner, I feel inclined to eat at home all the time, and I’ve rediscovered the way I would eat if no one was around to judge me or eat my foods. Although girl scout cookies, beer and any number of other items go untouched in my fridge, there are a few must haves, including (but not limited to):

1. Peanut Butter M & Ms

2. Popcorn (it goes well with the m&ms, also, it’s great if you dump some Parmesan on it)

3. Graham Crackers (splurge and get the real brand; it’s worth it)

4. Peanut Butter and Honey

5. Tortillas and/or bread

6. Cheese (preferably shredded sharp cheddar and/or slices of sharp cheddar to go with the apples)

7. Apples and Bananas

8. Garbanzo Beans and Tahini (For Making Humus, which is delightful and versatile)

9. Yogurt (pairs well with honey)

10. Eggs

Of course, Hot Cheetos should probably be included, but they’re a bit of a luxury, so I left them off. Other items I considered were spaghetti squash, pasta sauce and noodles, and chicken (just the normal stuff you can freeze, then fry, bake, etc…) Rice is also pretty great as well, because you can throw it into just about anything and it does alright.

So… what do you think of my list? Am I missing out on anything? What are your must-haves?