Sadly, Jesus isn’t ALWAYS the Correct Answer…

Jesus Walks on the Sea (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This year at work, I’ve had an odd influx of students completing book projects about the Bible. I think they’re under the impression that going to church every Sunday earns them ‘A’s on anything church-related. However, very few of them actually follow through and READ the Bible before turning their projects in.

Student: “Is it alright if I do this quarter’s book project on the Bible?”

Ms. James: “Absolutely. However, you probably want to narrow it down a bit because the Bible is a pretty long book. You should pick a few books out of the Bible and just focus on those. Which books do you most want to read?”

Student: “I don’t know - probably the psalms and maybe Acts.”

Ms. James: “Okay, well you need to make sure you still read the same number of pages as the rest of your peers, and you need to actually read it, because I’m shockingly familiar with the Bible and WILL notice if you don’t read.”

Student: “My dad’s a pastor… I think I got this.” (Oh, the hubris of that little snot!)

Eight weeks later, student turns in his project. Let’s say the assignment is to create a new and original book jacket for the book and write a page explaining how that jacket represents the story and its theme. Student turns in a neon pink sheet of paper with a Google image of Jesus walking on water. Then, he writes:  ”The theme of the Bible is that anything can overcome a greater force by what they believe in.” The student goes on to write that “Jesus looks at you with his deep eyes saying that he believes in you.”

While that’s very touching, and works well with the younger kids in VBS, I have to give this project a zero. And I feel pretty bad about it, but, come on, kid. You said you were reading the psalms and Acts… Jesus doesn’t walk on water in either of those books. In fact, Jesus doesn’t really show up in the flesh in either of those books. Additionally, the theme you’ve written is in complete opposition to what Jesus actually says… He says that HE is the force that overcomes, right?

So… sometimes we churchgoers like to make fun of ourselves, because anytime a leader or pastor asks us something and we aren’t sure about the answer, we tentatively say, “Jesus???” with a coy grin, which is essentially what these kids are turning in for their book projects… but, sadly, Jesus isn’t always the right answer. Sometimes, it’s important to actually read the Bible, comprehend it, and remember.

 

The Fig Leaf Weavers and Me

Lately, I’ve been thinking about Genesis and the fall, because there’s way more there than initially meets the eye. For instance, there’s the first animal sacrifice. In response to original sin, God supplies the original sacrifice in the form of animal skin outfits.

That blows my mind.

I get why lots of people aren’t impressed by this revelation, but the literary critic in me gets SO excited every time I see motifs in the Bible. The first time I ever read the Bible, sacrifice was an annoying section called Leviticus, which was really just a hideous list, describing how Jewish people had to kill specific sets of animals on specific days in specific ways. Then, I read the Bible again, and sacrifice made exponentially more sense, because “the Lamb of God” became more than a churchy phrase and I intellectualized Christ on the cross as a sacrifice for sin. Then, I read the Bible a few more times, and I was like, “Whoa – this whole passover thing with Egypt and the plagues is really the same as Jesus dying so that our sins would be passed over.” We’ve got a passover lamb and the Lamb of God. Same thing (ish)? I think so. The most recent piece I’ve come to in the sacrifice puzzle is the first piece in the story: original sinners find sin’s covering in animal skins provided by God.

So… I’ve been pretty jazzed about literary devices in God’s book, but there’s something else about this passage that irks me.

“Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.” (Gen 3:7-8)

This is before God provides the animal sacrifice. First, we have the original sin of eating the forbidden fruit, general disobedience, wanting to be like God, Adam’s failure to lead and protect his wife, etc… Then, we have the original response to sin: fear and shame. Initially, that seems pretty appropriate. They did something wrong, so they ought to come to contrition for that wrong. However, the weird thing is believing that there was (and is) a better response to this mess than trying to clean it up.

The older I get, the more I feel the weight of sin. When I was younger, I really didn’t get why Jesus had to die. I didn’t understand the injustice and horror of human folly. I didn’t see why the penalty of sin would be death, because I was entrenched in the cultural truth that humans are basically good.

Which is a problem.

Misunderstanding the weight of sin leads to a misunderstanding of the weight of the cross.

But now that I can’t look on sin and human nature without disgust, I’ve got a new problem. I’m hoping this problem is just a part of sanctification, because really knowing sin (think conocer rather than ser), leaves me standing in the garden with a mess I want to clean up.

HOWEVER…

There could be another solution that Adam and Eve didn’t see because they didn’t know (conocer) God. Perhaps I have trouble seeing it too, because the story of the original sin is also the story of the original response to sin, both of which are at the core human identity; they’re at the core of my identity.

It’s completely against my nature to look upon my nudity and ask God for an outfit. It seems stupid to do that. There’s nothing about me or my situation that suggests God will give me something to wear. There’s no reason He should, which is probably why Adam and Eve got out the needle and thread, and why my initial reaction to my messes is the same as theirs. Believing the Bible and knowing God require trust in that which is better than experience. They require an optimism that’s unfounded in this world and an inconceivable solution to the mess I’ve made.

Adam and Eve should have trusted that God would forgive their disobedience and help them. They should have gone to Him, knowing that He would care for them.

But they didn’t. And I don’t.

I often look on my mistrust of God to provide the Lamb and atone for my sin, and find myself crouched behind the trees searching for fig leaves in the hope that they’ll cover my sinful mistrust. And the irony presses all the breath from my lungs, because I’m not a fan of this particular literary device in this particular story… my story. Just as the motif of animal sacrifice saturates the Bible, an irony of the original response follows: Adam, Eve, the pharisees, the prodigal son, and I labor at our sewing machines late into the night, each bent on making a garment large enough to hide the greatest mess ever made.

 

Homosexuality and the Christian

I was reading 1 Corinthians a few mornings ago, and I came to some scary verses.

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, not idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

And a weird thing happened…

I thought about what it says there.

Of course I’ve thought about it before, but I’ve never found a way to reconcile it in my head.

Because homosexuality and the church is a can of worms I try not to open.

When I work with students on reading comprehension, the first thing we do is cover what the text actually says.

I think it says that men who practice homosexuality will not inherit the kingdom of God.

The next thing we do is figure out if it’s literal or figurative, and what it means.

I think it’s literal and it means that we are deceived if we believe men who practice homosexuality will inherit the kingdom of God.

My current manuscript deals with homosexuality, which is really terrifying, because I can’t think of a more inflamed wound I could have written about…

and yet, it’s the story I wanted to tell. The one worth telling.

My main character is a kid who believes that the Bible is the inerrant word of God.

But he’s also gay.

Which makes it seem like I’m writing a story about right-winged homophobes versus the gay parade.

I’m not.

And I think that’s one of the problems with the way the world views those scary verses from 1 Corinthians. We read them and think they’re about people condemning people…

and of course there is some of that. I can’t think of any way people try to justify themselves that doesn’t involve a comparison and judgment of others… and homosexuals are a common target.

Yet, the thing I’m up against right now, isn’t a need to feel better about myself by saying that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God. And I don’t think Paul wrote those verses out of self-justification – seeing as a ton of his writing is about salvation from grace alone.

The thing I’m up against and the thing my character is up against, and the thing we’re all up against…

is whether our belief that the Bible is the inerrant word of God is stronger than any sense of self living within.

My sense of self and my character’s and everyone’s eventually comes into conflict with God, because His ways are not our ways nor are His thoughts our thoughts.

For me, the only time this has ever mattered very much is when I had to admit that the Bible says there are certain vessels made for destruction.

I can’t think of a single thing that’s more offensive than that.

But I still believe it’s true.

Because I had to choose between my belief that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and my sense of self.

I had to face Romans 9

I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion. So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God who has mercy…

Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?

But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction…

I think that means God makes some people for destruction. I think it means a ton of other things too, but in their most basic message, I think those verses say that God creates some of us to be destroyed, and that He does no wrong in that.

If I’m honest, I’m not always okay with it saying that.

I talk to myself about predestination and freewill being a paradox.

I talk to myself about mercy and justice existing simultaneously.

But that’s not always enough.

Sometimes, I have to rely on my belief that the Bible is the inerrant word of God, and I have to deny myself.

Because I refuse to deny what the Bible says.

For Weston (he’s my main character), he has to admit that the Bible says men who practice homosexuality will not inherit the kingdom of God.

And I wish I had the capability of writing a blog post right now that explains why it says that and how it’s okay.

But I don’t.

I’m not knowledgeable or wise enough for that.

All I’ve got is my hatred of falsehood, and it would be incredibly false of me to pretend that it says something other than what it says, regardless of all the affection I hold for vessels that very well may be made for destruction and for the Westons of this world.

I do harbor great affection for them; it just isn’t greater than my affection for my Creator.

 

Overlooking the Folly

I’ve been studying Proverbs for the past few weeks. It’s a book that I’ve read a ton of times, but spent very little thought on, which is really unfortunate. It always seemed like a big, boring list to me, so I studied Proverbs 31 (because I thought I had to), and that was about it.

Fail.

In addition to my current reading about wisdom, I’ve been listening to a 2009 series from Mars Hill church about Proverbs, and everything about the past two years seems to be clearer as I stop looking at everything I did with but my heart was so pure spectacles.

My heart was pure.

In fact, I’m not sure there’s ever been a time in my life when I had better intentions.

I had compassion, mercy, love, faith, selflessness, determination, forgiveness, gentleness…

And yet, I lacked wisdom.

It never occurred to me that something I did with such a pure heart could be so purely folly.

That’s not to say that God didn’t or isn’t using my folly for His good.

But it is to say that my folly led to exactly the things the Bible said it would, and none of them were pleasant.

It’s also to say that the best heart in the world is a wonderful thing, but it still must be directed in wisdom.

This whole growing thing is complicated, eh?

I thought my job was to focus on doing good and avoiding evil, but life tends to get shadier than that… there are plenty of things that aren’t evil but also aren’t wise.

Proverbs is a good book and I’m glad I’m reading it… but I also wish I had only to concern myself with my heart.

I wish having the purest of intentions was a sure indicator that we’re on the best path.

But alas, earwax!

 

The Purpose of a Bible Study

Am I allowed to stay home?

That’s the question that was on my mind Monday night because it was the kick-off for women’s bible study at my church. I would have gone (eagerly), had it been any night except the kick-off.

By kick-off, what I’m trying to tell you is that my bible study devoted the night to getting to know one another, which is a perfectly fine endeavor. There were food and conversation. I’m sure the girls laughed and smiled a lot.

I just wasn’t there.

I love and adore Bible studies, but I thought I’d write down a nice list here (serious bloggers make lists) of the reasons I go to Bible studies and am one of the most reliable attenders a church can have… and why I didn’t attend this week.

1. I go to learn the Bible, read the Bible and hear it read.

2. I go to hear testimonies of what God is doing in other peoples’ lives and throughout the world, and to share the ways He’s working on me.

3. I go to connect with others on the most important aspects of being human – to encourage and be encouraged.

4. I go because I want accountability – to be taught, rebuked, corrected and trained, and I go to teach, rebuke, correct and train others.

5. I go to pray – independently and corporately.

When I try to come up with other reasons for going to a bible study, I find very little that’s important.

Which is why I didn’t go this week.

It probably sounds like I’m uninterested in getting to know the other girls, which isn’t the case at all – I just want to really know them. I don’t want to spend the night trying to memorize names and each girl’s answers to the normal questions: What do you do? (I particularly hate this question because stay-at-home moms are in a weird category that’s difficult to talk about, and they make up a HUGE chunk of the female church population), Do you have kids? (I hate this one because it makes it seem like a woman is defined by her marital status and mommy card), What do you do for fun? (This is the easiest for me to connect with others on, but most women refuse to just answer the question… instead they talk about playing with their kids, church events and work… don’t they do anything else?)

I get that the point of a kick-off night is to create a non-threatening atmostphere for people to acclimate in… unfortunately, the “get to know everyone” atmosphere stresses me out way more than any other church atmosphere I’m ever in.

So, instead of making small-talk, I added 1500 words to my manuscript, packed a box for my upcoming move, read the Intro and part of chapter one of my first Bonhoeffer, and played KOTOR for a bit. It was one of the most productive nights I’ve had in awhile, and I’m certain that when I go to Bible study next week, I won’t be behind or any such nonsense… I won’t have the stay-at-home moms, singles and cool girls labeled just yet, but who really needs a whole night for that anyway… I can usually figure out those sorts of important details just by looking at a girl anyway (Don’t hate – I’m being sarcastic).

I’m holding out for next week when Bibles are mandatory and the talk is significant rather than small.

Much love, dear readers.

*Also, before you get all “Katie, why are you so certain the ‘get-to-know-everyone’ night is for you?”, let me just say that Bible study nights like this are for the person who is uncomfortable in the regular let’s-talk’deeply-about-grace-sanctification-and-other-churchy-words atmostphere that I love. So I’m not at all saying that nights like this aren’t valuable… I just choose to spend my time doing other things.