May the Fourth Be With You!!!!

Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center: Space exhibit, Star Wars R2-D2 themed US Post Office mailbox (Photo credit: Chris Devers)

Thought you might enjoy this link:

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars/b/ref=nav_swm_may4_2013?_encoding=UTF8&node=281446&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=nav-sitewide-msg&pf_rd_r=1M1Y5GDAEFZ09V27T8HB&pf_rd_t=4201&pf_rd_p=1546228262&pf_rd_i=navbar-4201

 

Unhelpful Plants

Hello, Dear Readers!!!!

I’ve been uncharacteristically effective with gardening lately, and thought I’d post a few pictures for you. These flowers are not in any way helpful in real life, but they’re pretty.

I’ll include some pictures of helpful plants soon.

 

Boredom Prohibited

The Karate Kid (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A student yesterday attempted to persuade me that the Karate Kid’s captivating,

courage-inflating,

killer Crane Kick requires the use of just one of his legs.

“That’s not even physically possible!” I disputed. “It was movie magic slight of hand…

You were distracted by the other guy as Karate Kid went to land!”

My student protested with all the logos an upper-middle class freshman can muster

and said, “How do you know? Have you ever even tried it?” and though I was flustered,

I told the sad truth…

“Oh, you bet I have, way back in the glory days of my youth!”

My student stared bewildered, because he knew what we all know -

that it’s lame to be bored, nay, it’s the lowest of low,

and adults aren’t allowed to spend their time

doing anything other than earning a dime!

And yet, I awoke this morning with the same sense of sad, slow, sauntering slink

that captured me during the crane-kicking, late summer mornings of teenage angst and not sleeping a wink.

And, so, rather than perfecting my “You just try to sweep the damn leg!”super-skilz,

I did what we adults do when we’ve nothing we should do because we’ve already paid the bills,

I cleaned the bathroom, completed the fat-busting, tummy-toning Biggest Loser workout on DVD with Bob,

I cooked an egg-white breakfast, obsessively tended my miracle-grown garden, and thought about putting in some extra time on the job.

But weekend grading is for those other teachers, you see,

the ones whose lives revolve around committees, rubrics, and essays, but that’s certainly not me.

I’m not at all like that; my life is so very much fuller, funner, and downright fetch…

that guy who’s at work right now – he’s a poor, pitiable wretch.

But I – I have so much more to keep me going, things that I must do,

and besides, I have yet today to even have my regular, daily, late-morning poo.

I haven’t laid out for fifteen minutes on each side, perfecting my, I-have-a-wedding-to-attend-next-month, almost effortless summertime hue.

I haven’t painted, then painted, then repainted my Impressionistic, “Starry Night” rip-off of Vincent’s enveloping, swirling blue.

Then, of course, there’s Starbucks, because caffeinated, repressed boredom has never once led a girl astray,

and I’ll certainly be more able to finish reading those nine books on my to-do list today,

once I dump

a 3-pump,

non-fat, no-whip white mocha of $4.64 mood-bump

into my bloodstream. Of course, I’ll grab a table intended for four

and spread out computer, coffee, books, lip-gloss, research, and more.

Then I’ll write a clever, poetic blog rhyme,

and download free music from the library, since I have the time.

Besides, I’ve been meaning to edit Weston’s 42-song,

excessively long

playlist and soundtrack,

because it’s impossible, overwhelming, panicky stupidity to write when I lack

inspiration. And though there is absolutely no relief

for adult-onset boredom, I’m a writer who acts on the belief

that I must write when I can, and it’s not worthy of my craft

to spend a day feeling bored when I could instead draft

the newest, shiniest manuscript that will one day become

the great, 21st Century American novel that can’t fail to change some

every

single

reader who awoke this morning feeling that terrible, horrible bore

that can only be defeated by the characters we adore.

And so… I WILL WRITE, because for we writers, boredom is prohibited

and Weston needs me to help him exist even if only in a limited,

fictional, on-the-page sort of way,

because, in his world, there isn’t a single bored, crane-kicking day.

 

I Survived Ragnar SoCal 2013!!!!

Hello, dear readers!

This year’s Ragnar Relay was the freakin’ most torturous race I’ve ever done, but I survived!

For the past two years, I’ve run the Ragnar Del Sol, but this year, our team switched it up by doing So Cal, and it was horrendous-amazing.

Horrendous Factors:

The desert is flat… so there is no possible way to train for California’s hills

I tore my quad a little over a month ago, and couldn’t completely train for my longest distances

CA traffic sucks, so we couldn’t support our runners very well (my van obviously hates me because they didn’t stop for me at all!) 

The runners who sign up for SoCal seem to be real runners, whereas the ones at Del Sol are often just crazies who don’t have anything better to do for a weekend, so they were all really fast and no fun at all. Ragnar is all about decorating your van and covertly tagging other teams’ vans, acting like a teenager, cheering loudly for every runner you see, and every other stupid-jubilance you can imagine, but serious runners don’t do all of that as much, and they mostly just run and ignore their responsibility for bringing the fun.

I was running longer distances than I have in the past, so the other teams put real runners on my part of the course and they all ran past me… one girl passed me on every. single. leg. I ran.

It didn’t seem as hot as it was, so we had a case of dehydration that ended us up at the first-aid tent. There was also some vomiting by a couple of team members and a possible broken foot.

Joseph didn’t run!!!!!!!!! He was in my van for every other Ragnar I’ve run, and without him, I’m the only returning member of our inaugural 2011 van 2. Also, there was no one to sing loudly while I’m in the porta-potty

Amazing Factors:

I ran farther than I ever have before and feel like a real runner… 18 miles exceeds all reasonable expectations

I ran some freakin’ crazy steep hills and only lost a minute per mile (one of my hills was a dirt trail that was steeper than a 45 degree angle)

I felt a great sense of overcoming obstacles. My previous Ragnars went pretty smoothly and I didn’t have any excuse for not doing well. In this one, I had at least 4 admissible excuses, and yet, I triumphed!

I got to run past Angel Stadium!!!!!

I burned more than a half a pound of calories in less than two days

We had a truly excellent team… I’m not sure our previous teams would have made it, but everyone this year pulled their own weight and helped each other out.

Half of our team has run a previous Ragnar and close to half had run two previous Ragnars, so we were much better prepared than we’ve been before… there was a calm collectedness in our struggles that’s never been there.

BEACHES!!!! there were some GORGEOUS exchanges on this race

I don’t feel as terrible as I usually do. I usually struggle to walk after a race, but this time, I’m only slightly sore.

We raised over $10,000!!!!!! I still haven’t met my personal goal, and you should click here to view my runner profile and donate $25 to Open Doors Community School, please, but as a team, we were superhero support raisers!

 

Sadly, Jesus isn’t ALWAYS the Correct Answer…

Jesus Walks on the Sea (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This year at work, I’ve had an odd influx of students completing book projects about the Bible. I think they’re under the impression that going to church every Sunday earns them ‘A’s on anything church-related. However, very few of them actually follow through and READ the Bible before turning their projects in.

Student: “Is it alright if I do this quarter’s book project on the Bible?”

Ms. James: “Absolutely. However, you probably want to narrow it down a bit because the Bible is a pretty long book. You should pick a few books out of the Bible and just focus on those. Which books do you most want to read?”

Student: “I don’t know - probably the psalms and maybe Acts.”

Ms. James: “Okay, well you need to make sure you still read the same number of pages as the rest of your peers, and you need to actually read it, because I’m shockingly familiar with the Bible and WILL notice if you don’t read.”

Student: “My dad’s a pastor… I think I got this.” (Oh, the hubris of that little snot!)

Eight weeks later, student turns in his project. Let’s say the assignment is to create a new and original book jacket for the book and write a page explaining how that jacket represents the story and its theme. Student turns in a neon pink sheet of paper with a Google image of Jesus walking on water. Then, he writes:  ”The theme of the Bible is that anything can overcome a greater force by what they believe in.” The student goes on to write that “Jesus looks at you with his deep eyes saying that he believes in you.”

While that’s very touching, and works well with the younger kids in VBS, I have to give this project a zero. And I feel pretty bad about it, but, come on, kid. You said you were reading the psalms and Acts… Jesus doesn’t walk on water in either of those books. In fact, Jesus doesn’t really show up in the flesh in either of those books. Additionally, the theme you’ve written is in complete opposition to what Jesus actually says… He says that HE is the force that overcomes, right?

So… sometimes we churchgoers like to make fun of ourselves, because anytime a leader or pastor asks us something and we aren’t sure about the answer, we tentatively say, “Jesus???” with a coy grin, which is essentially what these kids are turning in for their book projects… but, sadly, Jesus isn’t always the right answer. Sometimes, it’s important to actually read the Bible, comprehend it, and remember.